Do you want to love others unconditionally but find it nearly impossible? Are you left frustrated, angry and upset or feeling like a failure every time you attempt this kind of love? If so, maybe your approach to unconditional love could use a little teasing. I want to share with you ten steps that can help you love others unconditionally.
First, let’s talk about what unconditional love is.
Unconditional love is…
- an action
- a choice
- has no expectations
- without conditions
It is a different kind of love rather than your ordinary love. It is a gift you give where you expect nothing in return. It is when you accept the other person – right where they are.
Loving in this way can be powerful, painful, and yet so rewarding if you remain consistent. If you missed last weeks post, I encourage you to go back and read, “Is Unconditional Love Even Possible?” Click here.
As stated in my post from last week, I do not think we possess the ability for this type of perfect unrestricted love. However, with following the ten steps below, we can get a heck of a lot closer.
Ten Steps To Loving Unconditionally
1. Choose it: You have to choose to love in this way, not wait for the feelings to come. This affection is not a feel-good kind of love. You do this regardless of the other person’s behavior. Of course, I am by no means suggesting that you have no boundaries. One must protect themselves from burnout and danger.
2. Let Go of Expectations and Conditions: The minute you start having expectations or contingencies, you have turned towards a different kind of love that does not reflect unconditional love.
When you expect something in return or want the other person to earn your love – this is not unconditional love.
3. Acceptance: If we can’t accept the other person for who they are one can’t give this type of unrestricted affection. Acceptance does not mean that you agree or like what the other person is doing or saying, but you love them in spite of it.
4. Drop the Judgments: Judgments are almost always toxic in a relationship. When we hang on to judging others, it doesn’t allow us the freedom to love.
5. Love Languages: Learn what the five emotional love languages are and start speaking in your loved one’s language. Do not assume they share the same language as you. Click here to take a test and find out what your love language is.
My #1 love language is quality time so giving me gifts is nice, but it is not going to reach my soul where I will feel loved.
6. Forgiveness: It is difficult to love another person when you have built up resentments. Forgiveness will allow you to feel better regardless of whether the other person is sorry.
You will need to find a way to forgive so that you will be free to love.
7. Love Yourself: One crucial thing is you have to start with yourself. It is impossible to love another with all of their imperfections when you do not love yourself. Once you get to a place where you see yourself as worthy of the love you will be ready to give this same kind of love.
Do you love yourself with an unconditional love?
8. Practice: This sort of love doesn’t come naturally, so it is going to take some practice. Try and try again.
Start small – Do something every day for another where you expect nothing in return.
9. DO NOT GIVE UP – BE COMMITTED
10. Seek God – Did you know God speaks your love language? Tap into his power and strength. Allow him to love you in your emotional love language. Remember
You will come up short at loving unconditionally but God will not.
If God has called you to love someone with unconditional love – I encourage you to go for it. Be courageous and love them with this audacious kind of love that has no limits or expectations. Taking the ten steps above will get you closer and when you fail do not beat yourself up – remember it takes practice.
Please, share with all of us any additional steps you take that help you love others or yourself unconditionally?
Don’t forget to visit my monthly favorites page where you will find a few of my cherished books on “Love.”