Woman running—Doubt creeps in, and you wonder, will I fail to persevere. Find out a tip that has helped many run the race when life feels unbearable.
Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

Has life turned upside down on you, and it seems too difficult to move forward? Perhaps it’s unexpected news, illness, a job loss, or a project that calls for more of you than your current abilities. As the doubt creeps in, you wonder, will I fail to persevere? Find out a tip that has helped many run the race when life feels unbearable.

How to Run the Race When Life Feels Unbearable—Find out a tip that has helped many run the race when life feels unbearable. #perseverance #runtherace Click To Tweet

Perhaps, the pandemic has left you in a funk as you try to discover what is your new normal. Life may have slowed down, and almost overnight, it has sped up. The responsibilities, commitments and fast-moving life may have bombarded you and left you feeling overwhelmed. This tool is bound to help.

Although our circumstances don’t have to be the same, we must agree we want to persevere well and be determined not to give up. Otherwise, what I share won’t help.

First, let me share a part of the story of my unexpected circumstances and then the valuable information I received from a friend.

My Story

When I first heard the words uttered, “Your child may have a mental illness,” I couldn’t begin to comprehend or grasp the magnitude of this statement. But it was clear this journey would require tremendous perseverance. 

At first, I set out with determination to fix what was damaged. I began spinning in all directions grasping for wisdom to make sense of something I didn’t understand. At the time, I had taken no classes, known of no one with an illness like this, and wasn’t even sure I believed there was such a condition as mental illness.

I had always lived my life by the philosophy to succeed at anything; all you have to do is try harder. You know mind over matter. Of course, that is easy to believe until the unimaginable happens in your own home. 

Entering into the arena of mental health challenges was foreign to me. I threw myself in 200%; no stone would be left unturned. I read countless books, contacted experts in the field, and found the best help we could. I would not rest, not even for a minute. After all, this was my child, and I was her momma. I grasped for wisdom from everywhere, believing someone would have answers.

When Quitting Is Not An Option

As guilt, sadness, and a longing for the life we once had filled my heart and mind, it left me bewildered. Of course, I quickly became overwhelmed as I worried about yesterday, today and tomorrow all at the same time. Yet, quitting was not an option.

I soon found out determination and mind over matter would not cure mental illness. I had met my match. No matter how much I loved my child, I was not God, nor did I have the power to wash away the illness.

I desperately needed help, a tool of some sort. It was extra hard when those around me opposed my fight, quit, or even when my child wanted to give up.

How do you run the race when you can’t see the finish line and few are cheering you on?  

Help to Run the Race

My sweet friend could see I had unwavering faith, my eyes were solidly on Jesus, but she knew I would never last the long haul at the rate I was going. She kindly shared with me what it is like to participate in a marathon. 

At first, I didn’t understand the value of this information. Nor did I have a clue what it was like to run a marathon. You see, I am not a runner. 

However, she explained, “Maree, you have started the biggest race of your life, one that you desperately want to finish. It is essential to only focus on the next mile marker. When you look too far ahead, it seems impossible—concentrate on making it to the next milepost.”

Doubt creeps in, and you wonder, will I fail to persevere. Find out a tip that has helped many run the race when life feels unbearable.
When life is tough, our eyes need to be fixed on the next mile marker and not the finish line. #perseverance #milemarker #runtherace Click To Tweet

Have you ever desperately needed help to keep going?

Our faith says, “God will bring us through,” and this is true. However, we also have to do our part in the midst of the unbearable. We need the Lord and tools to keep moving forward. With both of those, we can persevere in the worst of times.  

“Perseverance is not a long race;
it is many short races one after the other.”

Walter Elliot

When You Are a Planner

Planning is my forte, so this was a lesson that did not come easy. I had prided myself on the ability to plan ahead ten markers at a time. But now, the fog would not clear, and the finish line became out of focus. It was unbearable to look to the future when the present held so much pain and uncertainty.

We Can Run the Race

It has been over fourteen years since we started down the road with mental health challenges in our family. I am forever grateful that God sent my friend with precisely the right words. Focusing solely on the next mile marker has been a tool I often use in all kinds of different situations. It is incredible how I can not only run the race but have peace in the midst of the unthinkable. But don’t take my word for it; try it yourself.

You may not have mental health challenges in your family, but life gives us all the unbearable at times. At some point, you will find yourself on a path where you can’t see the finish line. When that happens, I encourage you to stay on the road but don’t look too far ahead. There have been times when my mile marker was solely to survive one hour at a time. And when I did, I set my sight on the next milepost.

When life comes crashing down around us, we must fix our eyes on Jesus and concentrate on arriving at the next mile marker.  #milemarker #perseverance Click To Tweet

…And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12: 1-2
Doubt creeps in, and you wonder, will I fail to persevere. Find out a tip that has helped many run the race when life feels unbearable.

I would love to hear what helps you run the race when life gets tough? 


 To find out seven life lessons that are bound to help you move forward with endurance, click here. After all, how we run will determine our success. 


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Embracing Faith & Mental Illness is a Christ-centered online community for people who care for someone with a mental illness. We have four unique ways for caregivers to participate. You choose what works best for you. Click the graphic to discover what we have to offer.

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84 Comments

  1. We’ve had lots of mental illness in my family tree. I’m glad it’s a topic that is coming out more into the public eye these days. It makes a difference when we can talk about it with others without any shame attached to it. Thanks for sharing this, Maree!

  2. Tears are running down my face as I read this. We learned of our teen’s mental illness a year or so ago. I was shattered, but it explained so much. I am so lost, desperately wanting to offer the help she needed, but seemingly failing at every turn. There is no planning, as every day brings new problems and heartbreaks. It has become very hard to find God in this, but I am searching. Thank you for this post. I needed it.
    Marcy

    1. Marcy, I am so sorry your teen has a mental illness. It isn’t a journey I would wish on anyone. However, there are tons of hope and skills you can learn that will make a difference. I can promise God is there. I don’t know if you scrolled down to the end of the post, but I have a private Facebook group for Caregivers and a monthly newsletter separate from Embracing the Unexpected. I have found this is a journey no one should do alone. The members are amazing. Maree

      https://www.facebook.com/groups/embracingfaithandmentalillness
      http://eepurl.com/hwXgJv

  3. Being stubborn and angry is all I have to keep me going. Without any kind of help from God there is no hope. That leaves stubbornnessand anger. Maybe if God actually made His presence known then there might be hope.

    God bless you and yours, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    1. Kenneth,
      I am glad you are stubborn and keep going. Hopefully, the anger will dissipate soon. It’s exhausting walking around with anger. Prayers, you will feel God’s presence, and in the meantime, you will know He is near.
      Blessings,
      Maree

  4. Entirely true! This captures the cross we bear when mental illness is our lot. Our family and friends have to rally and help share the load, and you cannot afford to look too far down the road. Being in the moment and living by his grace, hour by hour, is sometimes the best advice by far. This post struck such a chord. Well said, Maree.

    1. Katie,
      Ah, I am so glad you like this post. It means the world to me. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts. I agree, “Being in the moment and living by his grace, hour by hour, is sometimes the best advice by far.”
      Blessings,
      Maree

  5. It is so hard when you have a child who struggles (regardless of the age). Yes – those milestones have helped – but I’ve spent a life time breaking a goal into short milestones so as not to get overwhelmed and think it too far away to achieve. I felt that about being a child of God when I was young – how can I be faithful a lifetime? That’s overwhelming. I have learned, also, to mine the blessings in the wait of a prayer sent out – to trust that God has the plan – and to focus on being what God needs me to be in the daily – and to live faith in the daily. Some days I am better at it than others. Learning how to wait with God has been the most significant lesson of my motherhood! Bless you for sharing your journey and the challenges in the journey! It’s the real sharing of God in the hard that changes lives and encourages! Shalom, Maree! ~ Maryleigh

    1. Maryleigh, Yes, breaking down the goals is key. I am impressed you were concerned and thought about being faithful when you were young. I am right there with you in motherhood on learning the lesson of waiting with God and putting my full trust in Him. What a valuable lesson to learn. I love what you said at the very end, “It’s the real sharing of God in the hard that changes lives and encourages!” We all must keep sharing. I learn so much from those that have gone before me. Thank you for sharing today. Maree

  6. What works for me Maree?
    The biggest marathon I’m running (& have been for the last 16 years) is the chronic illness race. When things become overwhelming I stop, pull to one side where the refreshments are (God’s love & strength) & refresh myself in Him.
    Then take one step at a time towards the next marker relying on my great Pacer (the Holy Spirit) to set the pace & at times that can mean lots of little breaks in between reaching the next marker! But I eventually get there! 😉
    Bless you for sharing your story & strategies!
    Jennifer

    1. Jennifer,
      I am so glad you left your beautiful example of what works for you. Your words made me smile as I imagined you refreshing yourself with God’s love and strength. Thank you for taking the time to share. Praying for you as you move to your next mile marker. Blessings, Maree

  7. Love the idea of focusing on the next mile marker. We are not promised tomorrow. Just focus on today.

  8. I’m not a runner, either, but I heard a similar principle in childbirth class. A former “student” of our teacher came back to share her experience. She said, during labor, if she thought, “What if I have to do this for days?” she felt tired and defeated. But if she thought, “I just have to deal with *this* contraction for now,” she could manage. That has helped me so much. The long haul can seem insurmountable. But we just have to handle this moment, this situation, by God’s grace.

    1. Barbara, I love the example you gave. I agree the long haul seems impossible at times. One moment at a time is such a better way to live and, of course, with God’s grace. Thank you for always stopping by and leaving a message. It is something I look forward to each week, and your words always encourage my heart. I hope you have a blessed week. Maree

  9. You know you got me hooked on this post when I saw the title. I am a runner and I had to read how to run the race when life gets tough. I loved it! You found out that we endure difficult situations the same way we run a race, one mile at a time. Loved this line: “I immediately fix my eyes on God and figure out what my next mile marker is.”

    1. Laurie, Thank you! Your words mean the world to me, especially because you are a runner. I do not run, but I am so thankful a good friend shared the analogy with me. I use it in life all of the time. Maree

  10. I really loved this post! Especially the part about “the next mile marker”.
    This really speaks loud and clear to me because I’m an avid runner. God uses running all the time in my life to speak to me about my faith journey with Him.
    I was facing some tough stuff in my family when I first started running and it was so profound at how powerful those parallels were between running and the real life RACE I was in.
    God started showing me more powerful truths about life every single time I went for a run or signed up for a race.
    He finally opened the door for all these parallels to be published in a book! I certainly didn’t see that one coming when I first began this journey!
    Check it out on my blog or on Amazon. Embracing the Race:40 Devotions for the Runner’s Soul. I know that not everyone runs a physical race but we are ALL called to run with perseverance the race marked out for us! Blessings to you on your journey. Keep going to the next mile marker!

    1. Lisa – I am so excited that you, and “avid runner” liked my post. I am not a runner only a wannabe runner. People that are runners intrigue me and I was amazed at the parallels with running a race and life.

      That is wonderful you published a book about this topic. I am going to have to check it out. It sounds fabulous.

      My prayers are with you as you too, keep going to the next mile marker.

      I am so glad you stopped by and left a comment. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

      Blessings,

      Maree

  11. Maree,
    These words could have been my own. So many of the very same feelings and the concept of just the next mile marker. I always say just the next step, but the mile marker is even better! I am so very thankful for you … I always leave reminded that I am not alone.
    Thank you, friend, for sharing at #MomentsofHope!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    1. Lori,
      Thank you for your beautiful note. I too am reminded I am not alone.

      Summer Blessings to You,

      Maree

  12. Definitely great advice for any trial or tribulation! I know I’ve had to put this into practice in my own life, especially with homeschooling. 🙂 Thanks for sharing at the #LMMLinkup!

    1. I bet, homeschooling can be challenging and of course rewarding. I gave homeschooling a whirl for a few years. I have to had to the moms that stick with it, what an investment in your children’s lives.

  13. Maree what a powerful post! Thank you for your honesty sharing such a needed resource. Your vulnerability is precious hindsight for someone just entering the race. No matter what the issue is, there are times where our effort and planning aren’t going to fix the situation and your post helps the rest of us plan more strategically how to respond better. When I was struggling with two family trials a few years back, my crisis of belief was considering the possibility that neither issue would ever get resolved like I wanted. That was a wake up call to my faith and perspective for learning how to live life messy and unresolved. Thank you friend for your post and I will share to Facebook.

    1. Gretchen, Thank you for sharing about your wake up call. Yes, we can live life messy and unresolved. I still don’t like it but I can do it as long as I fix my eyes on Jesus. I have learned over the years the minute I take my eyes off of Jesus all I see is messy. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you. Your words are always so encouraging. Maree

    1. Yes, I agree one day at a time, and when life is tough, I just shoot for getting through one moment at a time.

  14. Maree, this was so encouraging for me to read today. Like you I have often fallen prey to thinking I could get through anything by simply trying harder, especially in the health journey with my daughter. Although it is a continual challenge, I have found so much more peace and strength in learning to stop trying to stop focusing on the finish line and press into God for just the next step.

    1. Crystal – I am so glad my post was encouraging. Your words were encouraging to me.

      I know I need to keep being reminded to press into God. He blessed me with tons of energy and strength which are great but sometimes it works against me because I rely on me instead of God.

      It wasn’t until he took me to a place that was so unfamiliar and beyond me that I learned how to trust him. I am praying for you and your daughter right now. Maree

  15. Your post really resonated – almost one year ago my stepdaughter was diagnosed with several mental health diagnoses. It has been a struggle and as a runner and a runner of half marathons this is a great analogy.

    1. Julia – I am so sorry to hear your family has also entered the world of mental health challenges. Hoping and praying you are finding the help your family needs.

      I am so glad you liked the analogy. I am a wanna be runner, especially after learning about how marathon runners get to the finish line.

      Maree

  16. Maree, this is an inspiring post. I would have been just like you. 200% and full bore. This reminds me of the story about how you eat an elephant. One bite at a time. Great idea to focus on the next 1/2 mile marker.

    1. Theresa,

      Thank you for sharing another great analogy. Yes, to eat an elephant you would need to do one bite at a time. Hope you have a wonderful day.
      Maree

  17. Thanks for sharing part of your journey. It is so important that we talk about mental health issues. I have a friend who has struggled and it is definitely not easy for anyone- the person or their family and friends. I love your advice about focussing on the next mile marker. I think that’s a good way to persevere.

    1. Lesley,

      Friends can be amazing and so important in the journey. They can offer a hurting friend something family can’t. I find they are like a rare jewel when they choose to run the race alongside their hurting friend. Maree

  18. Maree, thanks for bravely sharing your story today at #unite. I have dealt with mental illness among many family members, and I affirm you for researching and being positive. I feel better when I research our family problems, because then I don’t feel so overwhelmed and confused. Praying for you today!

    1. Sarah – Yes, knowledge is key. I find the more I understand the more willing I am to equip myself. Praying for you too this morning. Maree

  19. Maree,
    God has connected us again through the #RaRaLinkup. Thanks so much for your encouragement in this post. Your writing is a blessing. As you fix your eyes on the prize may there come a release of breakthrough in you and your family. Praying you sense a new ‘wind on your back’ as you faithfully live for Him.
    Be Blessed & Refreshed,
    ~Sherry Stahl
    xoxo

    1. Sherry,

      I love it when he connect us. I am glad my writing was a blessing to you this week. Thank you so much for your beautiful words and your prayer. I too am praying for you as I send this. Looking forward to jumping on over to your blog and see what you wrote this week. Maree

  20. Wow, thank you for sharing your story! Learning to let go of the control and give it over to God can be so hard. Looking forward to reading your series on this topic! <3

    1. So true – letting go and giving it to God is so hard. I find I do it and then I somehow take it back little by little. Good new is I just have to hit the repeat button and give it back to God again.

  21. Thankyou for sharing this wisdom, I really like the idea of looking ahead to the next 1/2 mile marker, breaks life down in to manageable chunks 🙂

    1. Lauren – Yep, life is so much easier in manageable chunks. Thanks for visiting today. Maree

  22. Maree, I remember when my son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and thinking those same thoughts, “Why can’t things be the way they used to be “before the diagnosis”. But I then learned that there was now freedom in knowing the diagnosis.

    I have a personality very similar to yours and I appreciated so much your transparency as you shared about your navigation through the early days, weeks and months of your daughters mental health diagnosis.

    Thank you for imparting such encouraging wisdom to focus on the next mile marker which is so helpful in anything we face.

    Blessings,

    1. Karen – You are so right, there is freedom in knowing the diagnosis. I had never looked at it that way. Thank you for sharing. I hope you and your son are doing well with his diagnosis.

      I have to laugh because I have been teaching classes for years so sometimes I can come off as if have it mastered which I don’t. One night one of the participants remarked that it was unfair to think he could learn the skills. He explained that his personality was different and that the skills must just come naturally to me. I almost fell off my chair. None of this came easy or naturally to me other than my deep love for my child. Everything went against my personality, but I learned people can change. I did.

      Thank you for commenting today.It was fun chatting.

      Maree

  23. Your words here make me wish that I could experience the intensity of running a marathon, the physical determination and self-denial that gets the body to the finish line because I can see that the parallel to the spiritual life is so powerful.

    1. Michele – I too want to experience the intensity of running a marathon. I just don’t think my darn knee would hold out. However, I totally feel like I have run one in a few areas of my life. I just want to feel that exhilaration of passing by the finish line. I guess we will get that when we get to heaven. Maree

  24. Sadly God goes MIA when my mental illness is at its worst. Although I have been a believer all my long life He is silent.
    It’s a dark lonely journey

    1. Gail – I hate it when God feels MIA. Thank you for sharing it is when your mental illness is at its worst. It gives me a better awareness into how my family might feel at those times. I would imagine it does feel dark and lonely. I am so glad you are a believer. Hope it is okay to send prayers up for you. I am right now as I reply back to you.

      I know I once heard a speaker talk about when God feels silent how she switches into just knowing he is there. He does promise he will never leave us. I try to do that, and it helps, but I sure do miss feeling he is near during those times.

      Blessings,

      Maree

  25. I LOVE this post! Thank you for your bravery and transparency in sharing a topic that most people shy away from. You are shining a light in a very dark place. But, what is brought into the light can no longer hurt us.

    As I was reading this, I prayed Psalm 147:3 over you and your child. It is a verse that was prayed over a child I was raising- “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” This scripture is similar to Isaiah 61:1-4, which I typed up and framed in the child’s room. I think God’s Words, as presented in these scriptures and others, are healing balm to the children and to us. We need healing prayer as we worry over the ones we are raising.

    Do not feel like you have to read this post that I am going to try to attach. However, there is a comment, at the bottom, written by a woman who is trying to care for an adult daughter. Her powerful words remind me to thank God, even in difficult situations-

    http://www.burdenfreecaregiving.com/2016/10/21/joyforthestressedoutcaregiver/

    1. Erin,
      Thank you for your encouraging post and your prayers.I am sending prayers for you too as I reply back. I love the verses.

      I am hoping over right now to read the post. Thank you for sharing with me.

      Blessings,
      Maree

      1. Maree, It is such an honor to “meet” you online. God is so good and so gracious to bring His children together. His plans and timing are perfect. You have hit on a topic that is so relevant and yet so masked within our society.

        I began compiling interviews, about mental illness, last week. Hopefully, they will be typed up soon. In the meantime, here is a wonderful scripture I have started saying aloud, over my loved one’s problems. Perhaps this will encourage you and your readers. I read about praying Philippians 2:10-11 over your home. The article said to confess Jesus as Lord over every room in your home. It brings such peace when I realize that even though I do not have control, He does.

        Maree, may you be blessed for your honesty, transparency, and your love of our Lord.

  26. Maree – As you may know I am writing as part of a series on perseverance – this quote by Walter Elliot is fantastic. … “Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” Thank you for linking this post up at #TuneInThursday
    and for sharing your story of running the race – 1 mile marker at a time. Oh and just so you know, I am a planner and can figure out what to do with all the potential things 10 steps ahead too, but there are some things, we just have to focus on what’s next. Especially when it comes with trusting God to care for our kids and help us through the process at the same time. I love your heart and am so proud of the many miles you have journey over these past 11 years. Keep on keeping on – one step, one mile at a time and know you are not alone – there are others cheering you on.

    1. Debbie – What an encouraging comment. Thank you! Yes, I do know you have a series on perseverance. I have loved it.

      Glad to know I am not alone in the planning department. I have had to learn to set aside some of the best plans and just be. I can now do it with more ease, but I will always be a work in process. Pluss I have come to realize living in the moment is pretty darn good. I was missing lots of life always planning.

      Hope you have a fantastic weekend,

      Maree

  27. Such an encouraging post Marcee! It reminds of Dory’s catch phrase, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming..” Thanks for linking up at Salt & Light!

    1. You are so right it is like that catch phrases. I love that phrases, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Not so strange but I needed that phrase at this very moment. Maree

    1. Julie, I am so glad you found the post inspiring. Yes, this tip is helpful in so many aspects of life. It is not just with mental health challenges. I recently found myself overwhelmed with some pretty big losses and at the same time a child graduating. I went right back to Jesus and the mile marker and muddled my way through the days. We managed to embrace both the loss and the celebration. Blessings, Maree

    1. Alma – It is so nice to have you in our circle where we can share our similar struggles and find support. Maree

  28. That motto is also what I have used to get through, Maree! Especially in times like these when I am staying with our daughter & family and lose patience & perspective, sometimes. I really appreciate the reminders and tips – and am so grateful we have each other! Most importantly, I am thankful for the Lord Jesus who lovingly guides us & gives us the strength to run this difficult race!

    1. Bette, I am so grateful too that we have each other. What a wonderful mother you are to give and give even when it hurts. You are a great example. Praying for your time while you are away. Maree

  29. “Fix your eyes on Jesus and remember you just have to get to the next mile-marker.” What a great image! Most of the time, seeing beyond that is overwhelming.Planning is my forte, so this was a lesson that did not come easy. I had prided myself on the ability to see the future and plan ten markers ahead. But now the fog would not clear, and the finish line became out of focus. It was unbearable to look to the future when the present held so much pain and uncertainty.” Describes my experience perfectly. I can’t believe how much we share in common. Looking forward to your next post.

    1. Stephanie,
      I can’t wait to have a chance to connect with you and hear your story. It is always so nice to find someone that has similarities where you can support one another. Thank you for your messages on facebook too. Blessings, Maree

  30. “Focus on the next mile marker.” I like that a lot. Fixing our eyes on Jesus…holding His gaze gives us more power than we know to recognize, doesn’t it? Good reminders today, Maree. ((hug))

  31. Maree, thank you for sharing this post with the world—for being vulnerable, honest, and letting openness about mental illness in your child’s life to be a testimony to the power of faith in Jesus. I find this encouraging and uplifting. God bless you!

    1. Lance – Thank you for your wonderful comment. It encourages me to keep writing. Maree

  32. Thank you ! I love this encouragement . Just focus on Jesus …and keep your eye on the next 1/2 mile marker. Some days I feel so overwhelmed. Extended family members don’t understand mental illness and can be so judge mental and mean .

    1. Lori, I think mental illness is hard to understand if you haven’t walked in those shoes. I know I haven’t always done a good job explaining it or educating my extended family on mental illness. I know awareness helps but heck some days are just overwhelming with or without an illness in the family. The eye on the next mile marker works for those days too. Blessings, Maree

  33. Great post, Maree Dee. I love this thought, “Fix your eyes on Jesus and remember you just have to get to the next mile-marker.” Amen! Blessings!

    1. Karen – I am so glad you like the thought. I know it has been a life saver for me in all areas of life. Blessings to you, Maree

  34. Yes the challenges with mental health are at times overwhelming. The is not a sprint, it is not a marathon, it is a slow as snails pace putting one foot in front of the other with prayer in between steps. And it is hard on you, the person with the disease and everyone who walks the path with you because you may not see the results until we are transformed , made perfect in our eternal life. I just look for the little glimpses of that next step and when a window opens, sing praises. Have a good day

    1. I agree sometimes it does feel slow as snails. Those are the times I find it best to look back and see how far we have come. Challenges with mental health are just that challenging. My heroes are those that get up every single morning and fight it. They are running a difficult race but those that that love them hurt too as you know. I love what you said about, “a window opens, sing praises.”