Do you think it is difficult to connect with someone when you feel they have let you down? If your answer is yes – it shouldn’t come as a big surprise when your relationship with God becomes distant in the midst of unwanted circumstances. However, we need to know how to keep and continue to build a strong faith even when we are disappointed with God.
Last week, we discovered sometimes we are unwilling or reluctant to express our disappointment to God. This failure to communicate usually leads to us landing in one of three categories: 1. Running away from God; 2. Ignoring the emotion altogether; or 3. Building a wall to keep God at a distance. Click here to read last weeks post, “When You Are Disappointed with God.”
Although the three categories are all human reactions, not one of these choices will bring you peace.
Running straight into the arms of God is always be the best place to go. But sometimes we refuse to go there. Our human nature gets in the way. It’s okay don’t let it shake your faith. It merely means you have thoughts, feelings, and emotions you need to work through.
God can handle any wrestling you might experience. But it is essential that you don’t let complacency set in or stay in longer than needed.
I have been in this place with a great big wall up for the last six weeks. It started with a loss I know God could have prevented, but didn’t.
Our world is painful, isn’t it?
My cry has been, “God, you could have done it differently.”
Somehow I got stuck in this place and let a wall go up. There has been an unfamiliar distance between God and me. But not for one minute has it rocked my faith or trust in God. I know he is near and he will bring good out of loss, pain, illness, and heartache. Afterall he has done it many times before.
However, it is a lonely place existing without feeling God’s presence. We need God more than ever when life hasn’t turned out as we expected.
Like any relationship, if you are not moving towards each other, you are most likely walking away. So staying in a place with a great big wall is NOT an option we want to settle on. Rather, keep the faith we have built and make it even stronger in the midst of our disappointment.
But how does one do this when we don’t feel close to God?
Ten Steps to Take When You Are Disappointed with God
1. Run to God
It doesn’t matter if you are angry or frustrated with God. He is God, and He already knows your thoughts. You can’t hide from Him.
He is a BIG God and can take anything you say. Follow David’s example run to God, cry out to him, and he will draw near to you.
2. Draw from Your Foundation of Faith
What have you already built in faith? Go back and pull from it. Although it is easier to draw from a solid foundation, it is never too late to grow your faith.
3. Bring to Mind What You Know About God
Remind yourself what you know about God not what you are feeling. Our feelings and emotions come and go. God is unchanging. List out what you know to be true about our Lord.
God is Good.
He Loves Me.
God Will Provide a Way out of the Darkness.
God Is Always Near.
4. Remember What God Has Done
Get out that journal of remembering. Write down everything God has done in your life in the past. If this task seems too complicated, write down what you have seen God in the lives of others. The Bible is a great place to start.
5. Go to the Bible
God’s word can bring healing. Start with one verse and let it wash over you.
6. Do What Typically Brings You Close
Sometimes when we are stubborn, we refuse to do what brings us close. Fight against those thoughts and do it anyway.
7. Try to Connect in a New Way
Listen to how others connect and try something new. Try a nature walk, music, go to church, join a small group, sing, journal, etc.
8. Trust God
Did you make a choice a long time ago to trust in the Lord? If so, go back to that wise decision. Stop wrestling with something you have already determined to be good.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6
9. Permit God to Consume You.
Pray and ask him to consume you. Here is a great song which might help in getting you to this place.
10. Be Still with God
It is not only okay to have no words it can be a moving experience to sit and be quiet with God. Some of the best prayers are merely saying, “Jesus.”
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Tearing down a wall may take time. It might not happen overnight. But what is vital is taking steps to move closer to God even when we don’t feel his presence.
Today let’s tear down that wall together. Let’s keep and build a strong faith even when disappointed. Yes, we know our God could have changed the circumstance, but He didn’t. Now let’s trust He will bring good out of it.
When you are disappointed with God what steps do you take?
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I am disappointed in God. He knows it. I still believe-but there is now a barrier and we are not close like we were-we were VERY close. I am heartbroken. A beloved little angel has passed. Knew he was sick. Been praying long time for him to heal BUT also accepting God’s will-I also prayed that when his time came that God would let him have a peaceful passing. When it looked close I asked others to pray that he would not suffer and have peaceful passing. When the time came I was praying constantly and even started begging ok just take him-because he suffered-he suffered BAD. I do not understand this. Where 2 or more are gathered He is in the midst. I know all the promises to back up my claim that HE should have not had to suffer while i could do nothing to help-he suffered and God has been silent to me about it. I do believe i have heard from God but not in response to this and since this no longer sure it is GOd or not just me deceiving myself. I have an online place where I have been sharing for the past 2 yrs with christian encouragement and exhortation. Obviously i can not do that right now. I am afraid of God because I know He is real-I cant hide my feelings from HIm. I am angry and disappointed. I have tried to respectfully ask for help in understanding and do not understand what he has said-but note that none of it has answered why prayers were not answered and he was allowed to suffer so bad. My grief is fresh this just happened monday and today is wednesday-but God has been such a big part of my life i am doubly messed up with both of these absences in my life right now. I just dont understand and I ”know” GOd is real, He is supp to be good and has been in the past, He can hear my heart(which means I cant go and fake praise or posting scripture etc) He is sovereign and can do what He wants and does not have to answer me—but i have found in my past He usually does-but here when I need Him now i am unable to come to Him because He let me down and let my baby suffer. He even told me when things started ”it’s time to say goodbye”. My baby suffered hard for over 24hours when God could have let there be a peaceful passing-or taken him quicker-I realize i still have blessings each day and am going thru the motions of thanking Him but I do not understand this and He is silent and I see no way of moving past this disappointment which devastates our relationship.
Kim,
I apologize for taking so long to see your comment. I am reading it right now, and you are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you have endured. My heart breaks for you.
It is almost unbearable to watch someone we love suffer. I am so sorry your baby suffered, and Oh, how I wish God had spared the suffering for your baby. Sometimes He is hard to understand when we know the Lord is mighty and able.
Please know, Kim, I will pray for you in your loss and your relationship with God. May you find a way into His arms for comfort.
Blessings, Maree
I just read your posts after having the single most devastating thing happen to me personally (not involving my family or friends).
The problem I find is that Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I have done so, and put the Lord first in my life. For the third time in 45 years, the desire of my heart was in reach. I can see of no way in which it would be considered blasphemous, evil or otherwise destructive to me or my faith, and it has survived my faith journey as intact as it originally began.
Then the disappointment.
I saw two possible reactions: either He wanted me to wait, which would be the third time in 45 years (each one 20 years apart) that my hope was deferred — and Proverbs 13:12 says that “hope deferred makes the heart sick”; or he actually withdrew granting the desire of my heart, which means He broke the promise in Psalms. And if it’s hope deferred, my age will soon make the desire completely (realistically) impossible.
Either way, my faith has been shaken very, very badly, and I have no answer. Any time an answer presents itself, Psalms or Proverbs keeps coming to mind and dismantles the proposed answer. I’ve asked Him for guidance, and gotten nothing but silence.
What is your take on this?
I am so sorry you had such a devastating day. It sure can rock your boat and your faith. I do understand that. I, too, have felt the pain of prayers that felt unanswered.
My take – God works in mysterious ways. I have no doubt He loves you, and He will make good on His promises. All of them. I have no idea why He didn’t grant your desire. It usually doesn’t make sense to our human mind. I also know He doesn’t always answer them in the way we think He should, but He will answer.
Here are two posts you might find helpful. https://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/keep-strong-faith-when-disappointed/ and https://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/keep-strong-faith-when-disappointed/
Please know I am praying for you. I so sorry your prayer was not answered in the way you desired.
Maree
Oops. In my previous comment, I referred you to the post which you commented on. Please disregard the link. Maree
When my late husband was dying from brain cancer, in the last few weeks of his life when he was in hospital by this stage, I went out into the field on the farm & had a good old fashioned yelling match (totally unlike me) at God at the total unfairness of it all!!
Then I walked back to the house & cried my heart out to the Lord. No.10 above was my No.1 as I walked through the Valley of the shadow of death.
Jennifer
Jennifer, I totally understand. I would have been right there with you out in that field. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you goodness, God, can take it all. Praying for you. Maree
Great insight and post, Maree Dee. All 10 steps are spot on in helping us in discouraging times. I particularly like bringing to mind what I know about God and remembering what He has done. Those both really comfort my soul. Thanks for this wonderful reminder and resource. Visiting from #momentsofhope
Karen, I am with you. Remembering what God has done is key for me. Thank you for your encouraging words. Maree
Once again, Maree, you nailed it. I’ve been there – when I’ve not doubted God’s existence nor any of the truths I knew about Him but my heart was grieving and I was disappointed in what He’d chosen to not stop or change. I’ve felt the walls and the loneliness. Breaking down the walls takes just the things you recommend. Thank you for this hope ♥ I am featuring you and this post as my #MomentsofHope feature this week!
Hugs to you,
Lori
Lori, Thank you, my friend, for featuring my post and most of all for sharing. It is nice to know we are not alone. God took the wall down in a clever way this week. I hope to be able to share it on Tuesday. I have to double check because I was not alone in what happened. Maree
I stopped singing. I love to sing, and I stopped singing when I got truly upset and disappointed with God. I had not considered that until you mentioned it just now. Wow! Wonderful insights here.
I hope you get back to singing. I did a little bit myself today. No one was home, and I belted out the songs. I am so glad you find my post insightful. Praying for you to use that voice of yours again in song. Maree
This is a great post, Maree. I love all your suggestions – especially focusing on remembering what God has done. If He has helped before; He surely will again! I also love to focus on Lam. 3:22-23. Fresh mercy. Every morning.
You picked one of my favorite verses.
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23
I love going to bed after a hard day knowing tomorrow is fresh full of God’s mercy.
Blessings, Maree
Maree, A very comprehensive guide on what to do! Thanks for sharing. I think all of us have times like this. We need to be reminded of what already know – He is good, He is near, He has a plan!
Jerralea – Thank you for stopping by to read and leave you wisdom. Yes, He is good, He is near, and He has a plan. I love that. It felt good typing it out. Blessings, Maree
Hi! I just wanted to let you know I nominated your blog for the Blogger Recognition Award. 🙂 I love your blog! God is using you to do wonderful things here. Here is the link.
https://findinginspirationinthechaos.blog/2018/10/12/the-blogger-recognition-award/
Lana, Thank you for the nomination and your encouraging words. You made my day!! Maree
Maree, love these strategies for when we face disappointments. Thank you for always being so open and sharing the things that have helped you. You are such an encouragement!
Leslie, Thank you for your encouraging words. I have missed being a part of your facebook group. I am hoping in the next few weeks I can become active again. You are an amazing encourager. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Blessings, Maree
I think sometimes He does repent of things and wishes He could have done it different. Why? Because some people just aren’t listening when He tells them to help someone or do something or gives them a calling. he even did it in the Bible, and yet we have a free will, some people are still refusing His gifts.
Yes, we do have free will, and I bet that messes with what God desires for us. Maree
I so enjoyed reading this, Maree! I love your point about remembering all God has done. How can we remain disappointed and far from Him when we recall His faithfulness?! Enjoyed being your neighbor on #MomentsofHope today. 🙂
Emily, Yes, remembering helps a ton. He is so faithful. Thank you for stopping by, Maree
Thanks, Maree, for sharing these words with us. I have been thinking on being still before God for a few days. And the song is beautiful and is playing for the 2nd time as I type. May we always cling to God, yes, even when disappointed with a circumstance. God is always faithful, always good, and all He does is good. Blessings!
Joanne,
Oh, you and I are thinking the same thing. But I keep rushing through my days and not sitting still even though I know it is what is best. I am praying you get a little still time with God today. Blessings, Maree
Thanks, Maree, for help to ease the tension of this in between experience of knowing Romans 8:28, but at the same time realizing that even this is not a guarantee that things will go the way we expect them to!
Michele, I love that verse (Romans 8:28), but I know for some it is not comforting. I hesitated using it. Even though God will make good out of everything it most likely will not be what we expected or pain-free.
I hope you have a beautiful day. Maree
Yes we have lost the sacred power of lament and redeemptive mourning
Sometimes it just feels so wrong to lament yet we have wonderful examples in the Bible to follow. Blessings, Maree