Why Would I Let Go Of A Friendship?

February 16, 2017

Why Would I Let Go Of A Friendship?

Do you desperately try to hang on to friendships that were not meant to be for a lifetime? Just today,  I was pondering a friendship that meant so much to me and yet had slipped away. I wondered to myself, “Do I try again to resurrect this relationship?” “Is there something I did or didn’t do to make it disintegrate?” Or, “Is it time to accept this particular friendship was for a season and a reason, and now I need to let it go?”

This beautiful friend of mine was my right-hand person as I walked through a period of crises in my life. My heart is full of gratitude for this special lady. I could not have done it without her expertise, love, laughter, and faith. But for some unknown reason, this rapport didn’t seem to survive, and it bothers me.

I want all friends to be lifetime friends, but in reality, is this how friendships are designed to be?

On many occasions, I have tried to reach out. I know of no wrongdoing, yet I ponder – “Did I do something offensive that I am not aware of?” “Was I not supportive enough or too draining with my many needs?” It makes no human sense, and then I ran across this poem, and I realized she was meant to be a friend for a season and a reason.

Free Printable – Click the Poem

I discovered – when we hang on to friendships that were not meant to last forever, it spoils the richness of what we had. It somehow discounts the closeness that was once felt. We waste precious time pondering what went wrong and sometimes even our worth.

So today, I will recognize this particular person as one of my greatest and strongest relationships. I will always treasure the time we both took to cultivate a closeness and be there for each other in that season of our lives. It was not wasted time because the affection lives on in my heart as I take the goodness from it and send it out to others.

It is okay to have friends for only a season!

Do you struggle with letting go of friendships that were meant to be for a season or a reason?

 

 

44 Comments

  1. Reply

    Sarah Geringer

    Hi Maree. I relate to this, as a friend I thought would last for a lifetime walked away without notice. Maybe our friendship was only meant for a season. I am grateful for the good times and moving forward now. Blessings to you!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Sarah – It is hard when a friend walks away without notice. Many times it has absolutely nothing to do with us. I like how you can be grateful in remembering the good times. Blessings back at you, Maree

  2. Reply

    Ifeoma Samuel

    Thank you Maree for the richness of the wisdom here and oh so lovely a poem you have shared too….
    Sometimes it is hard but praying about our friends helps us find peace whether they are meant for a season or a reason.
    Much Blessings to you

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Ifeoma,

      I think you are so right that praying for our friends help us find peace. Thank you for that reminder.

      Praying you have a blessed day today!

      Maree

  3. Reply

    Unmasking the Mess

    Love this post! I’ve had the same thoughts, what have I done? Did I say something or do something wrong? This gives me relief to hear about the seasons of friendships.
    Great and encouraging post!
    #Faith’NFriends

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Julie, – I am so glad to hear I am not the only one. Glad you stopped by. Maree

  4. Reply

    elizabeth959803

    “Reason, season, or lifetime.” Wow. Must apply this today to a relationship that I need to accept was just for a reason. Thank you for sharing your words and heart…stopping by from Faith ‘n’ Friends.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Elizabeth, Thank you for stopping by today. I hope it goes well applying this to your friendship. Maree

  5. Reply

    Aimee Imbeau

    Yes, we may never know exactly why a friendship ends. I’ve had friendships that come to a close and realize that they were toxic and unhealthy.
    Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Aimee,
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I don’t know about you, but when a friendship is unhealthy or toxic, it isn’t so difficult to end. The catch is realizing it. Blessings, Maree

  6. Reply

    sarahgirl3

    I do struggle, but I know there are season friendships. Letting go of anything can be hard!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Sarah – That is so true, letting go of anything can be hard. Right now I am spending time in a place where we have seasons. I am both amazed and perplexed how things keep changing. I even cling to the season I am used to. Maree

  7. Reply

    Theresa Boedeker

    I love your poem. If only we read this as young girls and realized some friends will be in our life for a purpose or a short while. How helpful it would be. Thanks for enlightening us.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Theresa – I loved your blog. I visited today. I love that you laugh. I could use more of that in my life.

      I sometimes wonder what life would look like if we grew up with the wisdom we now have. That would have been great to read and understand this poem as children. Maree

  8. Reply

    amanda conquers

    So good, Maree. It’s hard to live, but freeing too. Thanks for sharing your wisdom <3

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Amanda,

      I am so glad you stopped by to visit. It is fun getting to know you. Maree

  9. Reply

    Michelle B. Humphrey

    I too have struggled with this,and apparently am not alone! I am praying over a couple of different friendships right now, knowing that if I will just get out of the way, God will show me how and when to let go or how and when to repair hurt feelings. I am also trying to invite Him into my hurt, which I’m sometimes slow to do. It’s a loss, and grief is okay! Your reminder that He doesn’t intend every friendship to last a lifetime is like balm on a wound…thank you!!!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Michelle – You are not alone. I am so glad that you found my reminder like balm on a wound. I like that. Maree

  10. Reply

    lauradavis2013

    I must admit I have been in the same place and have struggled over why this person whom I considered my best friend, would suddenly and without explanation want nothing more to do with me. I realize now, she was there for a reason. Thanks for sharing this it has made me look at this differently and taken a bit of the hurt away.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Laura, I am so glad it took a bit of the hurt away. Wishing you a fabulous week! Maree

  11. Reply

    valerie

    Years ago I was in the same place. It’s hard when you don’t know what happened. But like you said, when I was finally able to accept the beauty of the season, I can look back with fond memories of the past and love in the present.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Valerie, You are so right, it is amazing when we accept the beauty of the season. I just wish I came more natural to me. I seem to want to hang on to everything good and if I am not careful I will squeeze the life right out of it. Maree

  12. Reply

    Sarah Geringer

    Maree, I have seen some friendships fade without knowing why they did, and I understand the hurt. I have also let some toxic friendships go and experienced freedom. It’s a tricky dance, and prayer has really helped me navigate the changes.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Sarah, I like what you said, “It’s a tricky dance.” So true, prayer helps. Have a wonderful weekend. Maree

  13. Reply

    Gretchen Fleming

    Really enjoyed reading this and hearing your perspective. Boy it really makes sense. I could relate so much to your relationship that had not continued. But the reason, season, and lifetime evaluation explains it well. Thanks!!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Gretchen,

      I am so glad you enjoyed my post. That poem came across my desk on a week where we were saying goodbye to a lifetime friend. However that pain was too new to write about so I chose a season and a reason friend to write about. Hope you will stop by again. Maree

  14. Reply

    Tiffany Parry

    Hi Maree. God had friendship on my heart this week as well. While I’ve had to release several friendships, He’s also encouraged me to be the one willing to fight for others. It’s such a fine balance, and I’m grateful for God’s wisdom and guidance along the way. Glad to visit you from the Grace & Truth linkup.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Tiffany, I am so glad to meet you from Grace & Truth. I love meeting new friends. I too am totally willing to fight for others even those that do not call me friend. You might like my post on, Standing in the Gap. Maree

  15. Reply

    Alison Tiemeyer

    Thank you so much for writing honestly about this. I’ve had to let go of some friendships, and while it was painful, it also brought such freedom. Sometimes God gives us friends for a certain season & then we’re supposed to move in. It’s only by His grace & mercy that we can do so with certainty.

    I hopped over from Grace & Truth! Thanks again for this beautiful message.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Alison, I am so glad you hopped on over from Grace & Truth. It is nice to meet you. I totally agree with your wisdom. Maree

  16. Reply

    Dawn Boyer

    Maree,
    This is such a hard lesson to learn well. I have a very hard time letting people go. I want to hold them close like they are treasures which I am supposed to care for, but then I forget that they are HIS treasures and we are meant to serve one another for His glory. 🙂

    One of my dearest and best friends moved away recently. It has been really really hard to not have her close. It is easy to fear the loss of connection as a loss of friendship. way too easy. And easy to be sad that she is forming new friendships, but that is exactly what she needs to do and it won’t change a thing between us. 🙂

    Great words of wisdom, Maree. Thanks for sharing!
    Blessings
    Dawn

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Dawn – It is so sad when one of our good friends moves away. You are a good friend to recognize that she need to form new friends. Maree

  17. Reply

    Karen Del Tatto

    Maree, Thank you for sharing your insights about this.

    I too have struggled with why a majority of my relationships seem to only be for a season. Like you, there was no bad feelings, nothing happened to sever it, the friend just drifted away… At the rate I’m going, this will be the case with all of my friends. I am in a season right now of not having opportunities to even seek out new friends, but I have been praying that God will show me where I can cultivate new friendships.

    I leave your blog feeling encouraged. Thank you.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Karen, I am so glad you leave encouraged. I have to share I have been in a season (10 years) where opportunities for cultivating and maintaining relationships has looked nearly impossible. I have been amazed at how God has brought me just the right people, some of which have turned in to lifetime friends. One in particular I have only seen socially maybe twice in all of our friendship yet I would call her one of my best friends. Hang in there God will bring them, it just may look different. Maree

  18. Reply

    Joanne Viola (@JViola79)

    Maree, I am so grateful you stopped at my blog because it gave me opportunity to read this post. I sooooo struggle with this and in fact, have been struggling the last few days in particular. Thank you for sharing your words and the poem as both have blessed me this morning. You have helped me to settle my heart. And I think this is my first time here so may I say, “It has been wonderful to meet you!!!” Blessings!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Joanne – The feeling is mutual. It is great to meet you too. I am so glad my blog blessed you. I have to admit this is an ongoing struggle with me. I want friends forever. Maree

  19. Reply

    Lisa/SyncopatedMama

    I struggled with this concept, but then I met my husband who shared the whole “friend for a season” thing and that has helped me tremendously.

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Lisa – You are so blessed to have a husband that gets it and can encourage you. That must be helpful. Maree

  20. Reply

    Brenda

    Wow, Maree, beautiful insight here. — I’m one who struggles to let go, too. I always tease that if I’m your friend, you can’t get rid of me, I’m your friend for life. *smile* — But, there are friendships we outgrow, and that’s just part of making space for new seasons. — I tell my son that “friends for a reason a season or a lifetime” phrase sometimes. He’s 21 and thinks he’s supposed to always stay close to every person he’s ever known. Friends provide many opportunities for growth and growing pains, don’t they? Blessed to have them though. I love your phrase: “when we hang on to friendships that were not meant to last forever, it spoils the richness of what we had.” Such wisdom in that. Thank you for sharing with #ChasingCommunity, Maree. ((hug))

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Brenda, If I am completely honest, I still want to hang on to friends forever even when I know they are for a season. I remember feelings exactly like your son. Thank you for stopping by. Love #ChasingCommunity Maree

  21. Reply

    Kay

    I love this: “I discovered – when we hang on to friendships that were not meant to last forever, it spoils the richness of what we had. It somehow discounts the closeness that was once felt. We waste precious time pondering what went wrong and sometimes even our own worth.” I’ve recently had a friendship, that I thought was for a lifetime, weaken. It hasn’t died completely, but honestly most days it feels dead. She turned, moved on, divested. It hurt. I think the hardest thing to navigate is when we thought it was for a lifetime, but evidently not. Your words ring true, though. I began to feel myself damaging what we had enjoyed when I grabbed hold and questioned and lamented. Then several months ago I just decided to let go. And I’m breathing fresh air again.

    I’m so glad I dropped by from Chasing Community link-up! I’ll be back!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Kay, I am so glad you stopped by too. Your example was so helpful about letting go. I like that you feel the difference after letting go. Maree

  22. Reply

    Nicole Kauffman

    This truth is so difficult to accept, but it is also so freeing! I have also tried to cling to friendships when their season has long passed. It is difficult to let go of something that was once so rich and beautiful. But there is a season for everything, and often, we must be willing to move on to the next and follow God where He calls. Thank you for sharing this!

    1. Reply

      Maree Dee

      Nicole- Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. It is so true that there is a season for everything. I still fight it a bit.

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