Are you willing to have a difficult conversation? What about when it comes to someone contemplating taking their own life? Maybe it feels too scary and awkward, so you remain silent. However, to keep the people we know safe, we must learn how to have these challenging dialogues. Knowing what to look for and what steps to take is crucial. I have no doubt – Together, we will help prevent suicide.
Five Action Steps to Help Prevent Suicide
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a message for us on how we can do our part to reduce suicide. The information below is from the Bethe1To campaign. These steps are supported by evidence in the field of suicide prevention.
Step 1 – Ask
How will we ever know if someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts if we don’t ask? We can’t expect others to come right out and tell us. Plus, it shows we are safe people who can talk about difficult things.
How to Ask
Directly – Be Brave | Be Blunt – “Are you thinking about ending your life?” “Are you considering suicide?”
There are many ways to ask, but don’t be vague. It is vital to keep our tone and body language, saying, “Hey, I can talk to you about this; I am safe, non-judgmental, and willing to help.”
Reason for Living – Find out why they might want to stay alive.
No Secrets – Never promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret.
Listen – No matter how negative the conversation feels, it is good this person is talking. Someone trusted us enough to share, and letting someone unload is helpful. After all, don’t you feel better when you talk about what is bothering you?
Avoid arguments, problem-solving, advice, giving quick referrals, belittling, or trying to get them to justify why they feel the way they do.
Why Ask
Asking individuals who are at risk of suicide will not increase or put the idea into their thoughts; the exact opposite is true. Click here for more information.
Most people don’t reach out. Bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it is one of the most helpful things we can do. Often, talking will be enough to release those overwhelming feelings that drive a person to want to take their life.
Don't underestimate your ability to help in preventing suicide. Click To Tweet
Step 2 – Keep Them Safe
At this stage, suicide is a risk, and we must do our best to keep the person safe. We can do this; we have already asked the most critical question.
How to Keep Someone Safe
Think of Safety First – We must not focus on whether the other person will be angry with us or if we are intruding.
After all, wouldn’t we rather have this person hate us for the rest of their life but still be here?
Timing | Details | Access – We will want to ask tough questions and listen well. It is necessary to know a few things to keep a person safe. We want to do this in a conversational way, not an interrogating manner. We are probing for information to pass on.
Don’t Leave the Person Alone – When our gut tells us not to leave them alone – don’t. We can do hard things when it is in someone else’s best interest.
Keep the Person Away from All Lethal Means – It is imperative to remember that they told us they were suicidal in step one or that the warning and risk factors are evident.
DO NOT Do This Alone – Remember, we are only the first layer of help. We need qualified mental health professionals to assess someone’s suicidality. A suicidal person should get help sooner rather than later.
It is okay to call authorities for a well-check, go to the ER, or call the Lifeline number. We must do what is needed to keep the individual safe. Trust your instinct.
Why Keep Them Safe
Keeping a person safe is an integral part of suicide prevention. The overwhelming feelings will pass. It is only a moment, but they have to get through it, and they need our help.
Step 3 – Be There
How to Be There
Be Present – What do you want when you are hurting, confused, or scared? Most of us don’t want to be alone in our suffering, and we don’t have to have all of the answers. Being present without trying to fix it will help. Even if we cannot physically be with a person, giving 100% on a call, Facetime, or texting will help.
Listen with Empathy, Compassion, and No judgments – Listen carefully to the responses. Find out what is causing their pain. It rarely is one thing.
Follow Through– This is not the time to flake. Don’t promise to do anything if you can’t follow through. Brainstorm together who might be a capable person in helping; not everybody is.
Why Being There is Important
Being there with someone who has thoughts of suicide can save a LIFE. Remember, it is a moment – it will pass.
Step 4 – Help Them Connect
Our goal here is to connect them to people who will be able to help. Remember, you may help lower the risk now; however, most likely, the thoughts will resurface without intervention.
How to Help Them Connect
Make Sure Everyone Has the Lifeline Number – The suicide hotline number is 800-273-TALK (8255). This hotline is not solely for the one who has thoughts of suicide. If you are concerned about someone – you can call too.
Hint: Add this number to your phone’s contact list, then it will always be readily available to someone in need.
Know Who Is in Their Network – Do they already have a psychiatrist, therapist, or counselor? What about family and friends who might be helpful?
Help the Person Create a Safety Plan – How many of you, when in a crisis, suddenly can’t remember your address or phone number? The time to come up with a successful plan is not in the middle of an emergency. Of course, a safety plan is best when done in partnership with a clinician.
Why – Help them Connect
We are not professionals. Yes, it was a moment, but most likely, another one is coming, and they need help learning how to cope with their overwhelming feelings and pain.
Step 5 – Follow Up
Now is not the time to quit. It can be as easy as a text, a call, or a visit. Your relationship is valuable!
How to Follow Up
Keep Connecting! Don’t Give Up!
Why Follow Up
Staying connected will help lower the risk of suicide.
Do you know?
The Suicide Risk Factors – click here.
The Warning Signs – click here.
Together we can all make a difference in helping to prevent suicide. Yes, of course, it can be scary to get involved. However, by educating ourselves, practicing, and spreading the word, we will help prevent suicide. Click To TweetWill you be the one to help prevent suicide? What resources have you found helpful?
Do You Know How to Help Prevent Suicide?
By knowing what to look for and what steps to take, you might be the one to save a life. Join Maree Dee and her husband as they present #Bethe1To from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Together, we will help prevent suicide! Click here to watch, “Suicide Awareness Talk: Will You Be the Oneto Save a Life?”
Together, we will help prevent suicide! #suicideprevention Click To Tweet
Are You Struggling with Thoughts of Suicide?
Maybe you are reading this post and struggling with thoughts of suicide. Please know your life matters to God and others. Reach out to someone and share your pain.
Call the Suicide Prevention number at 1-800 – 273 – TALK (8255) or 988
Suicide Loss Survivors
Even when we try our best, sometimes, we are not successful in preventing suicide. The five steps are not foolproof. My prayers and heart go out to those suffering from this devastating kind of loss. Please be sure to seek out support. Surround yourself with friends, family, and seek professional help if needed. You matter too!
Click here to watch a hope-filled event presented by Circles of Hope: Mental Health Support. It was indeed a night of hope and healing as Kay Warren, co-founder of Saddleback Church and fellow suicide loss survivor, shared her journey in moving forward after the tragic loss of her son, Matthew.
Our minds can’t grasp why God would allow so much pain here on earth, but we must choose to put our trust in God even in the midst of our suffering.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness Community
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness is a Christ-centered online community for people who care for someone with a mental illness. We have four unique ways for caregivers to participate. You choose what works best for you. Click the graphic to discover what we have to offer.
Click here to discover four unique ways for caregivers to participate.
Thank you for sharing about this important topic, Maree. It’s heartbreaking that it is so necessary that we’re all aware of steps to take to help others, but it is much needed in the culture we’re living in. I’m grateful for the grace of God and hope that He offers in times like these <3
Tabatha,
Thank you for stopping by and reading about how to help prevent suicide. Together with God, I do believe we will make a difference. Maree
Thanks for addressing such an important topic, Maree.
Lauren,
Thank you for stopping by to read. Yes, it is an important topic that is close to my heart. Maree
This is such an important topic. Thank you for sharing this guidance. These are difficult and heart-breaking situations, but there is also hope. Visiting today from the instaencouragements link up.
Yes, there is tons of hope. Thank you or joining us here on Embracing the Unexpected. Maree
My heart breaks for the many I know who have been touched by suicide! This is such a thorough and helpful post! I’m scheduling on multiple Pinterest boards for the next 7 weeks and tweeting this post. It is so helpful to have a clear resource on how to help!
Ginger – Thank you for joining me in helping to bring awareness to suicide. We just posted today a presentation on the topic. You can find it here. https://youtu.be/iSemZhr1p4U
Blessings,
Maree
This post is so helpful. Suicide has impacted my family since before I was born. I grew up seeing the pain my grandmother’s suicide caused my mother. And then I had my own struggle as an adult. They say suicide risk can run in families, which has been what I’ve seen in my own family. I know my mom, my brother, and myself have all struggled with it. I think the healthiest thing we’ve done is talk about it, but I’m so thankful for the tips in this post. I will definitely be keeping them in mind. Thank you.
Ashley – Thank you for opening up and sharing. I am so glad your family talks about it openly and honestly. I believe the more we talk about, the more lives we can save. We did a presentation last week, where we jumped in with more detail. You can find it here. https://youtu.be/iSemZhr1p4U
Wow, Maree Dee! This is so powerful, helpful and much needed! I’m going to share this on my FB page later this week! Thanks for talking through these principles and steps! Pinning!
Beth – Thank you for sharing. We also did a presentation last week that can be viewed on YouTube at https://youtu.be/iSemZhr1p4U Together, we will help prevent suicide! Maree
Excellent post and I truly appreciated all the detail.
Thank you for stopping by to read. The more we can educate ourselves on the topic, the more lives we can save. I went into more detail during a presentation last week. You can catch it here. https://youtu.be/iSemZhr1p4U
Suicide is so hard for all involved. Thank you so much for this post. I hope it helps so many people as this is such an important issue.
Anne – Thank you for your encouragement. I, too, hope it helps many to know they can be a part of helping to prevent suicide. Maree
Thank you for sharing on the topic of suicide. You did a wonderful job of breaking down steps people can take to prevent suicide.
Thank you for the encouragement. It is a message Bethe1to. I thought it was so good and easy to remember the five steps. Maree
Thanks for this advice.Sometimes, we can feel totally useless and ineffective in helping someone who is depressed. It’s such a sad thing to see our young people giving up on life.
Mandy – I agree it is sad that people are in such pain they take such permanent actions. We have to keep trying to reach them. Thank you for your encouragement. Maree
Maree, this needs to be pinned and tweeted and shared over and over and over again! SO IMPORTANT!
Pinned & tweeted.
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Patsy – Thank you for joining me in spreading awareness. I appreciate you and sharing my post. I agree we need to keep sharing about suicide prevention. Maree
Thank you for writing on this. Suicide is such an epidemic right now. I also wrote a post on it that might help others who are struggling: https://mycrazyfaith.blogspot.com/2018/06/help-for-anxiety-or-depression.html
Heather, Thank you for our post. It was rich with resources. Maree
Oh my. My heart hurts for you. Thanks for sharing these tips in the midst of your heart break. Praying God brings you comfort during this difficult time. Those words sound trite and empty, but from this side of the computer screen, they are all that I have. And I know they will never be enough. They couldn’t be.
Heather,
You are so sweet yours are beautiful, not trite and empty at all. I appreciate your words and prayers. Yes, it is heartbreaking, but I am more determined than ever to do my best to try and help prevent suicide. Blessings, Maree
Maree, I am so sorry for your loss. I have been, and will continue to pray for your church family. Thank you for your series on this difficult subject – so needed.
Alyson, Thank you for your kind words and especially your prayers. We all need them. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Maree
Maree, I’m so sorry for your church’s loss and for the pain his family must be feeling. Thanks for sharing these resources. Praying for your church and his family.
Donna,
Thank you for your prayers. I know the family appreciates them and so do all of us that are part of the church family. Maree
This is such an important message to always have available. You and your church family have been in my prayers, Maree. Thank you for sharing this.
Susan, Thank you for your prayers. They mean the world. Maree
Thank you so much for sharing these much-needed resources!
Anita, You are so welcome. My hope is with the knowledge we will be empowered to help if needed. Maree
Thank you so much for sharing these hard but oh so important truths. I am still praying for you and your church family. May the Lord bring such comfort to you all.
Bettie, Thank you for your prayers they mean the world to our church family and me. Maree
Thanks for this advice. We often feel helpless in the face of this, and it helps to have some direction to know how to approach it.
Barbara, I agree. Having direction makes it easier to ask the difficult questions. Thank you for stopping by. Maree
Thank you so much for writing this very important post.
May the Lord comfort you and your congregation.
Karen, Thank you! God is good even in the midst of great pain. Maree