Mother’s Day can be beautiful, filled with flowers, family, and joyful memories. However, for many, it also stirs up emotions like grief, guilt, loneliness, disappointment, and even dread. You may have had a different vision of what this day holds. In addition, loss, estrangement, or silent pain may have deemed this day forever altered. But what if there were a new way to approach Mother’s Day?
A new way that meets us right where we are and not where we wish we were.
A new way that embraces grace, holds onto hope, and is grounded in our faith.
Let’s try a fresh new approach: Pause. Reflect. Reframe
What Was Your Childhood Dream of Motherhood?
Some girls dream of a knight in shining armor whisking them off on a white horse for a forever wonderful life. My parents divorced when I was four, so that dream shattered before it began. Instead, I tenderly rocked baby dolls, gently placed them in cradles, and kissed their foreheads, imagining the day I’d become a mother.
As the years passed, this dream warped into a flawless fantasy. In it, I was the perfect mom. My children would never suffer, or at least nothing more than a skinned knee. In addition, they would walk with God, live beautiful, struggle-free lives, and produce numerous grandkids. Now I see my dreams were steeped in unrealistic expectations and wrapped up with pride and control.
Yes, I’m deeply grateful to be a mother. However, have you ever asked, “Did God choose the wrong mom?” You are not alone. I’ve asked that, too, as I found myself far from perfect and unable to take away my children’s pain.
When Reality Doesn’t Match the Dream
Maybe you’re reading this, and your dream of motherhood never came to fruition, or you lost a child. Perhaps Mother’s Day holds an ache you can’t extinguish; mine certainly does.
Still, I believe that with a new three-step approach, we can find the joy God wants us to see in this day and age. After all —
A New Way to Approach Mother’s Day: Pause, Reflect, Reframe
1. Pause: Step Away from the Noise
Firstly, give yourself the gift of space today. Allow yourself to breathe, feel, and be.
Social media feeds will flood you with picture-perfect moments. However, you won’t see who’s missing from the photo or the tears behind the smile. So why not pause the scrolling for a day?
Here are simple ways to pause today:
- Turn off notifications.
- Set minimal expectations—let yourself be surprised.
- Practice saying “no” to what drains your soul.
- Pause before you jump in to please others.
- Ask God for a scripture. Write it on some pretty paper, post it on your mirror, or screenshot it for your phone.
Here is a favorite verse of mine when overwhelmed.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28, NIV)
What are some practical ways you can pause?
2. Reflect: What Is This Day Stirring in You?
Secondly, stuffing away the hurt will not make it go away; it will trickle out in ways we can’t control. Why not embrace your God-given emotions?
Take a quiet moment and ask:
- What hurts today?
- What do I wish this day looked like?
- What unmet expectations or old wounds are surfacing?
Journal your thoughts. Write a letter to Jesus. You might be surprised by the comfort, healing, and closeness it brings.
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.
(Isaiah 66:13, NIV)
Know that you’re not weak or selfish for feeling—you’re human. God gave us these emotions for a reason, and He will meet you there.
Our willingness to feel what we feel connects us to ourselves, to others, to God.
― Jennie Allen, Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It
3. Reframe: Trade the Pressure for Purpose
Thirdly, let’s toss out the unrealistic cultural ideas of what Mother’s Day should look like and ask, “What does God want to show me today?” (Make into a graphic)
Here are a few gentle reframes:
From: “I’m not a good mom”
To: “God meets me in my weakness.”
From: “They forgot me again”
To: “God sees me.”
From: “I’m not a mom.”
To: “God has placed children in my life to love in other meaningful ways.
From: “My mom is gone—it’s too painful to celebrate.”
To: “Lord, thank You for the legacy she left. Help me honor her memory.”
From: “My child is estranged, I’m not worthy.”
To: “Memories of happy times can fill the void for now.”
What thoughts do you need to reframe today? I would love to hear them in the comments.
And remember—your day doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. I’ve spent Mother’s Day alone. And it was still good. Quiet, reflective, peaceful. That counts, too. You get to define what this day might look like and how you will spend it. Make it right for you.
Your Mother’s Day can be good even if you spend it alone. Quiet counts. Peace counts. God counts.
Mother’s Day doesn’t have to meet the world’s expectations. #MothersDay #FaithAndGrace Share on XYou Are Deeply Loved, Right Where You Are
Whatever your day holds, embrace it with God. Let Him into the joy and the ache. #mothersday #ache Share on XTry a new tradition. Start with a slower pace. Or skip the celebration altogether if that’s what your soul needs.
To sum it up—Pause. Reflect. Reframe. You get to define what Mother’s Day looks like.
Above all, remember this:
- 💗 You are a daughter of the Most High God.
- 💗 You are seen, known, and cherished—especially today.
- 💗 You are not alone; God is with you.
A Simple Prayer for You
Lord,
You see every woman reading these words. You understand her longings, grief, joy, and ache. On this Mother’s Day, I ask that she be aware of your presence and find comfort in it. Help her recognize that you meet her right where she is. Guide her to find the joy in this day that you have created.
Love you, Lord!
Amen
What part of our three-step process do you need the most this year?
Happy Mother’s Day!
If this helped you reframe Mother’s Day, share it with a friend who might also need it.
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A tender reminder that Mother’s Day can carry a plethora of emotions for women.
It’s SO important to bring reasonable expectations to Mother’s Day and to refuse negativity. I loved the ways you demonstrated the reframing of our thoughts.
Thanks so much for sharing my post!
Thank you for your kind and compassionate wisdom here, friend. Mother’s Day can indeed be a painful time for many of us. May you be blessed this weekend.
A beautiful & wise post Maree.
May you have a very blessed weekend sweet friend. Jennifer