When Someone You Love Withdraws Each Winter

Seasonal Depression and Mental Health Changes

Have you ever noticed a change in your mood, energy level, eating, or sleep patterns at particular times of the year? Perhaps you have observed these shifts in someone you love. Did you know that people can experience depression in certain seasons? How will you respond when someone you care about withdraws each winter? I haven’t always done it well.

A Loved One With Winter Depression

Each year, around November, a family member of mine would slowly withdraw. He would often sit with a blank stare, quietly distance himself from gatherings and relationships, or even sleep while hosting a party. For him, holiday cheer became a chore.

The Loneliness on the Other Side of Withdrawal

He would then step into the new year, disconnected until late spring. In April, he would begin to reappear, ready to engage in and participate in the relationships he had set aside. Initially, I felt abandoned and pushed aside, and eventually I became accustomed to his absence. When he reappeared, it felt like an interruption or intrusion. This pattern persisted year after year until we understood what was happening.

Withdrawal Is Often About Survival, Not Rejection

What I didn’t understand then is that withdrawal is often about survival, not rejection. When depression tightens its grip, even the most meaningful relationships can feel overwhelming. What looks like disinterest or distance may actually be someone conserving the little energy they have to make it through the day.

How Understanding Changes the Way We Respond

If I had understood his struggle, perhaps I might have responded differently, more kindly, lovingly, and supportively—focusing on my loved one’s struggles rather than my insecurities about abandonment. Understanding has a way of softening our approach, making space for compassion.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Explained

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is not a character flaw. It is not laziness or a lack of faith. It is a real form of depression influenced by changes in light, routine, and biology. For people of faith, this can be especially confusing—when joy is expected, but heaviness settles in instead. Naming what is happening can relieve so much unnecessary shame.

Scripture reminds us,

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” 
(Galatians 6:2, NIV)

We cannot carry what we refuse to see or understand. Education allows us to come alongside one another with humility and grace rather than judgment.

Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

SAD does not look the same for everyone. Some experience deep sadness or hopelessness, while others notice irritability, increased sleep, carbohydrate cravings, or a heavy fog that makes thinking and connecting feel nearly impossible. Because it usually follows a predictable seasonal pattern, many blame themselves for not being able to “push through.”

Why Community Matters

Additionally, I could have sought support from others who understood my situation. After all, it never feels good in a relationship when one person steps out emotionally—even when it is unintentional. That is why community matters so much. Together we are stronger. That’s why we have Embracing Faith and Mental Illness for those who care for someone with mental health struggles.

Together we are stronger. When we know better, we can do better, and today is a great day to start. #newday Share on X

There Is Help—and There Is Hope

There is help. Light therapy, counseling, medication, movement, routine, and supportive relationships can all help ease symptoms. Sometimes even knowing, “This will pass. I am not alone. I have survived this before,” can bring comfort during the darkest months.

You Are Not Alone—Let’s Talk About It

If this resonates with you—whether personally or through someone you love—I invite you to share. Have you noticed seasonal patterns in your own mental health or in someone close to you? What has helped? Your story may be the very thing that helps another feel less alone.

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Embracing the Unexpected | Maree Dee

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