I have been pondering a question for some time now, and I would like to ask you? – Do you like change? I always thought I loved change. I love the way night turns into day and day into night, how the tide goes in and goes out, and I welcome the change of seasons. I even like snow skiing from one side of the mountain to the other, trying never to repeat a run. But when change starts meaning risk, I find myself wanting to cling to the old.
It was time for my daughter to transition back home from a treatment center. In my mind, I knew this was a good thing. After all, she had progressed to a point where this was a viable possibility. I was elated and proud but scared of the unknown. I began to doubt myself, “How could I keep her safe?” “How could I care for her?” “Would I fail her?” “Was I equipped?”
A part of me wanted to cling to the old ways, yet I wanted what could be.
The last few years had been difficult. They revolved around booking flights, hotels, and car rentals. We were also attending grueling IEP’s, and therapy sessions. I had spent a great deal of time traveling to see her, and now that part of my life would be over. This change was a good thing, right? No more needing to schedule visits or phone calls.
Then why was I finding change hard, when I knew it was good?
One would think I would have no problem moving forward and that I would embrace it. After all, this is what we had been working towards.
It made no sense that even the smallest part of me would want to cling to the old life.
The change before us signified progress. It was what we had prayed for and what we had all worked hard to achieve.
I genuinely was excited about the change, but I carried on this inside struggle of resistance. I began to question what was wrong with me. “Why on earth would I want to cling to the old?” The new had so much to offer for all of us, and a change was inevitable. Clinging to the old was not even a possibility. So why was I wasting time-fighting it internally and what was the real issue? I needed to uncover my true struggle. Aha….
The fear of the unexpected was what was welling up inside of me.
The old ways were difficult and did not make sense anymore. I got that. But those roads had become “MY NEW NORMAL,” and I found myself in an internal battle to accept the change that was coming. I knew I would need to develop a “NEW NORMAL” once again, but the old was familiar.
To move forward and be successful I would need to embrace this new chapter in my life.
So I decided to trust in God and let go. Trust him completely with his plan, not sort of but entirely. I clung to this verse –
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!”
Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)
I elected to embrace the change with an attitude of confidence and excitement. I would expect the unexpected, in both good and not so good. I would live only one moment at a time. I would not allow myself to ponder the past or worry about the future but stay in the present. There was no need to suffer over what might happen or what had already h`appened. I would remember that God is good and all that he had done before.
Trust in GOD
Embrace the Changes
Expect the Unexpected
Live Only One Moment at a Time
Remember that GOD is GOOD
One might think I would only have to do this once but in reality, it is something I have to do over and over again.
I would love to hear from you and find out if you find change hard even when you know that the change is right?