Have you ever been given the privilege of caring for another human being? Perhaps it has called for more care than you ever expected and extended beyond your original timetable. You want to be a compassionate caregiver; however, you worry that you will fall short. Find out today what is most important to ensure you persevere and thrive in your role even when the task appears beyond your skillset.
Perhaps you are not in a caregiving role at this time. It is not a guarantee, but you will most likely be given the honor in your lifetime. Will you be ready and able to meet the challenge? Will you have habits to ensure you will be a compassionate caregiver?
My Dream Came True
When I became a parent, it was a dream come true. I fully expected to dedicate eighteen years to raising these three blessings God entrusted me. Of course, I was ignorant to think parenting ends when your child reaches the magical age of adulthood. However, I was up for the task and basking in the honor.
However, I had no idea mental illness would rear its ugly head and call for a different kind of caregiving that would last well beyond the typical span of intense parenting. It was more complicated and challenging than any undertaking I had ever tried. But also quite rewarding. Quickly I found out that my strength and abilities were not enough. My approach to solving short-term challenges would no longer work for the long haul, especially if I wanted to be a compassionate caregiver.
Caregiving Is an Honor
Yes, caregiving is painful at times, challenging, exhausting, and yet such a privilege. If you are caring for someone in a unique way, consider this—God trusts you enough to care for one of His children. What a great honor!
Maybe your caring for another looks different than mine. However, I have no doubt there are similarities, and my guess is we both want to be compassionate caregivers.
What helps you to meet the challenge of caregiving?
Two Ways to Help Be a Compassionate Caregiver
I could quickly rattle off a list of at least ten things that help me keep compassion in what I do. Today, though, I want to concentrate on my top two.
Number One: Daily Quiet Time With God
When I see a challenging season on the horizon, like holidays, busy schedules, special events, etc., my time with God is crucial first thing in the morning. It is non-negotiable and scheduled right into my calendar. Otherwise, my compassion begins to wane.
A Difficult Season
It had been one of those weeks where I felt overwhelmed, alone, and wondering – What about me? Don’t I matter? Extra people had needed care, responsibilities had overwhelmed me, and I wanted someone to attend to me. Now I know when I get to this place, Jesus is who I need most.
On this particular morning, I set out with determination that God would be my priority. I pointed my feet toward my favorite chair to meet with the Lord. Slowly I sat and shifted my body around until I found the perfect position to settle in and meet with Jesus. But then my thoughts took over as I reached for my computer to make a quick pit stop to reply to a few comments on my blog.
It amazes me how fast we can know what helps, yet we abandon it so quickly. Do you struggle with this too?
However, today it was a perfect interruption as it led me straight to Jeremiah 29:11 and I kept reading.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11 - 14
A Letter to God
As I began penning a letter to God, my eyes welled up, and salty tears ran down my face. My heart was breaking, not solely for myself, but for the one I love, whose suffering was great. My cry was, “God, I need you. It has been a tough week.”
My tears turned to sobs, and God wrapped His arms around me, bringing comfort and love. I was not alone.
God is a great comforter!
God can instill confidence in us to be compassionate caregivers. He will strengthen us when we are weak and put kindness back in our hearts when we have none. #comfort #compassionate caregiver Click To TweetGod can instill confidence in us to be compassionate caregivers. He will strengthen us when we are weak and put kindness back in our hearts when we have none.
I then used my prayer acronym “T.R.U.S.T.” to round out my prayer. You can click here for a free pdf.
Number Two: Read God’s Word
When You Think God’s Word Won’t Make A Difference
But of course, sometimes the busyness of life beckons me to skip my morning routine with God, or at least the part where I pull out God’s word. Here is one of those times when the Lord again took a simple message I had heard a million times and spoke right into my unexpected circumstances.
A Cutting Word
It never ceases to amaze me how many people think they have it all figured out while standing one hundred yards away, offering critical unsolicited advice about your caregiving and what would be best. The words roll right off their lips, yet they fail to jump in with helping hands or try to educate themselves. They think they know best when they haven’t spent a minute in our shoes. Have you ever experienced this?
One would think after fourteen years, I would let other people’s comments roll right off. After all, this person lives 10,000 miles away with not an ounce of knowledge about our situation. But for some reason, her words seeped beneath the surface and played havoc with my mind. When this happens, not only does it rock my boat, but it depletes my tank and leaves me with less to give to those I love.
Distracted
On this particular morning, her words were racing through my mind. I pondered whether I should postpone my quiet time with Jesus. After all, work piled up as I wasted time thinking about her critical words. Plus, I knew my reading consisted of the story of Noah. At the time, I read the Bible in chronological order daily. The story of building an arc, putting animals inside two by two, and a flood didn’t seem to offer anything for a day like today.
I chose a quick prayer thinking that would be enough. Pulling out my computer, I began to work. But God was relentless, and He kept nudging me to spend a little time in His word. After wrestling a bit with God and getting nothing done, I finally relinquished.
I opened up my Bible with a laissez-faire approach, thinking I would be obedient, do it quickly, and get on to my daily tasks. However, to my surprise, the words began jumping right off the page as if I was reading a story written solely for me. Does this ever happen to you?
God’s Word Speaks
“So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it:” Genesis 6: 14-15 "Noah did everything just as God commanded him." Genesis 6:22
“So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it:”
Genesis 6: 14-15
“Noah did everything just as God commanded him.”
Genesis 6:22
Noah was Obedient
Noah committed to a long-term project that would take years to complete. To outsiders, Noah must have looked like a fool, and we can only imagine the ridicule and criticism he must have received.
After all, who builds a massive boat with no water in sight? His plan must have looked absurd. Yet, despite its absurdity, Noah stuck with the program and obeyed God.
Oh, there is much more to the story of Noah. Although on this particular day, God reminded me of an important truth.
Being obedient to God's direction will always be the best plan, no matter how unconventional, even when others scrutinize it. #compassionatecaregiver #obedience Click To TweetGod Got This
At the time, we tried an approach to caregiving that appeared odd to outsiders. We were striving for something in the long run, not a quick fix for today, and it required taking small awkward steps to accomplish it. We believed the Lord had not only directed our path but had given us the idea. Plus, we had sought wise counsel. It did look strange, it was difficult, and yes, there were risks.
The Bible can encourage us in many ways. On this particular day, Noah’s story reminded me my job is to be obedient to God regardless of any harsh words or opinions from others. Because as caregivers, there is usually plenty of it. It prompted me to see God’s perspective is much larger than our human eyes can see. Noah amazed me and encouraged me with his ability to stay focused on the long-term goal, be obedient, and build that Arc regardless of others’ opinions.
One might ask how this has to do with being a compassionate caregiver.
We can hear and follow His lead when we stay grounded in God’s Word. Doing this helps keep our compassion tank full and our eyes fixed on God’s critical work for us.
God’s word will help us remember God is with us every step of the way. He is faithful!
Quiet Time & God’s Word Help Us to Be Compassionate Caregivers
As caregivers, we have our pain, but we also live the suffering of another. The work isn’t easy or glamorous; sometimes, it goes without much appreciation. It is easy to become depleted and respond without love and kindness. Sometimes it feels unbearable and as if no one understands. But God does, and we can trust He has a good plan. Sticking close to His word and presence will remind us we are not alone and all things are possible. It will help us to persevere and be compassionate caregivers.
What helps you to be a compassionate caregiver?
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness Community
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness is a Christ-centered online community for people who care for someone with a mental illness. We have four unique ways for caregivers to participate. You choose what works best for you. Click the graphic to discover what we have to offer.
Click here to discover four unique ways for caregivers to participate.
Upcoming Talk | Mental Health
How to Help Someone in a Mental Health Crisis
As a caretaker of a loved one with mental health struggles, you often carry more than your fair share of the weight out of love. Sometimes, this can impede healing. Learn from our guest, Darcia Fuqua, how to introduce responsibility, accountability, and independence on the healing journey. She will pull from her experience in a mental hospital and walk us through scripture on what it means to “carry each other’s burdens.”
When you register, you will receive a link from Zoom and again on the day of the talk.
Meeting Time Saturday, June 01, 2024: 8 – 9:30 am (Pacific Time) | 9 – 10:30 am (Mountain Time) | 10 – 11:30 am (Central Time) | 11 am – 12:30 pm (Eastern Time)
Love the thoughts from this that you wrote above, “He will strengthen us when we are weak and put kindness back in our hearts when we have none.” That idea of Him putting kindness back in our hearts is such a good one. Thank you, Maree!
I love it when God puts kindness back in my heart. It was so nice to see you in the comment box. I hope you have had a great week.
I’m a caregiver for my 91-year-old mother. While it’s a priviledge, it can be exhausting and can test my patience, at times. But as you pointed out, a daily time with the Lord and in His Word are the things that help me so much.
Donna,
Time with God does make all the difference. Thank you for sharing.
Maree
Maree, God’s word truly is powerful. It has the power to reach into our hearts and guide/comfort/reassure/correct/encourage us exactly in the ways we need when we need it. I so appreciate your examples and reminders of the importance of spending time in God’s word daily, especially when we’re on a caregiving journey.
Jeanne,
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I am always amazed at how God’s word speaks. This morning I had to leave the house quite early; when I got back, I considered skipping my time in God’s word. I am so glad I didn’t. His words are carrying me through my day.
It was great being on our Zoom call together yesterday. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Maree
This is so helpful! Thanks and God bless you.
You are so welcome. Thank you for the encouragement and for stopping by. Maree
Having some experience in caregiving, I realize that some people are easier to care for than others, I have seen the good children and the combative ones. The same with relatives, and older people, even trying to show the love of Jesus can be difficult. I speak to so many people going through this and God protects their sanity as well, there are definitely times you need professional help.
Rebecca, You are so right. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to show the love of Jesus. That is wonderful you are speaking to many about this topic. I am sure you are a great help. I agree professional help can make a difference when needed.
Thank you for sharing, Maree Dee! What are the three most helpful encouragements you have received as a caregiver? (Encouragements: verbal, practical help or for your own soul care; if you can name three from each category, that would be helpful.)
Lisa, What a great question that I would love to answer.
Verbal: A friend kept telling me, “You are doing the right thing.” Another time when I was worried I would lose the relationship over a decision I needed to make, “Maree, let’s go there; what would be the worst thing that could happen.” Another friend, “You are important too.”
Practical: Dinner for my family, Checking in on my other children, Showing up to sit with me.
Soul Care: Suggestions from those who had gone before me: Time out for me to replenish, sitting with my loved one, sitting with me without trying to fix things. Prayer!
I can’t guarantee these are the three most helpful ones, but the ones that came to mind. Thank you for asking.
I’m saddened to hear you received criticism Maree in your caregiving.
Sadly it’s a reality we caregivers face, people who are not in the daily living with the person whom are in our care think they know exactly what needs to happen & what we should be doing!
But have no actual idea the moment by moment difficulties that caring for our loved one’s individual case can & does present.
I too received unsolicited ‘advice’ when caring for loved ones. Although I did also get a lot of verbal encouragement too.
God was & is my strength & He got me through the unsolicited, unhelpful & critical ‘advice’.
Yes, we can only keep our eyes focused upon our heavenly Father & follow His will for our lives knowing Jer 29: 11-13 promises , leaving the critics to Him. 😉
Bless you,
Jennifer
Jennifer, I have learned over time to let it roll right off. In most cases, they mean well; they solely lack knowledge and understanding. And sometimes, even amid the criticism, there is a thread of truth to look at.
I don’t even know where to begin.
A Hindu family I was paid to care for ended in physical violence and verbal abuse. The small sweet child suffered as well to her mom’s violent behavior. I had to pack up and leave . And I became homeless for one night. BUT GOD, found a loving home for me.
Kayla, I am so sorry for your experience as a caregiver. That had to have been so hard. I am so glad God found you a loving home. It sounds awful. I am praying for that child right now. Maree