Do you struggle to maintain a grateful heart in the midst of the unexpected? If so, you are not alone. Gratitude is hard for most people.
Photo by Andre Moura from Pexels

Do you struggle to maintain a grateful heart in the midst of the unexpected? If so, you are not alone. Gratitude is hard for most people during ordinary times. And we know life sometimes is far from usual. However, living without appreciation will only make our circumstances harder to endure.  

At first, it may feel impossible, impractical, and downright ridiculous to think that we will find a bounty of blessings in the middle of all this uncertainty and darkness. However, they are there! However, we must choose to see them. But before we jump into cultivating an attitude of gratitude, let’s talk about the pain.

No doubt, the year of the pandemic was far different from what we envisioned. We all were living smack dab amid the unexpected to some degree. It was a year full of unanticipated struggles and unmet expectations. Perhaps you find yourself in the middle of the unanticipated once again.

It’s Not About Covering Up the Pain

Sometimes we try to shut out the unexpected pain by using gratitude to cover up what is underneath. We put a spin of positivity on our situation as if this wipes away the loss or disappointment.  

Do you ever do this? How does it work out for you?

Naming our blessings may work for a bit to improve our disposition, but without acknowledging the pain—gratitude may not penetrate deep into our hearts and bring us lasting peace and joy.

We must embrace both. If we don’t, the pain will start leaking out when we least expect it.

A Grateful Heart is Helpful

Gratitude has been a tool I find extremely helpful to carry me through dark days. Honestly, my thoughts tend to go there first, driving the people around me bonkers when they need to express, grieve, or acknowledge their pain. Aha, a superstar at gratitude. Well, maybe not. 

My Failure in Seeking Gratitude

Early October 2020, I plopped down in my chair, eager to start putting together the workbook for “30 Days of Gratitude.” After all, this is my favorite time of year when thoughts tend to go toward what we have and not what we lack. Plus, I love counting my blessings with those who join our challenge. 

But to my surprise, the harder I tried to muster up a little gratitude, the further I moved away from it. The clock kept ticking, and the deadline was looming. 

I wrestled for hours, trying to get words on paper, yet nothing flowed. God kept nudging me – “Stop what you are doing. Sit with me.” But I refused. 

A brand-new loss seemed to poke at my heart. Of course, I tried to rationalize the sorrow away and get on with my gratitude. But instead, it ushered in thoughts of many unmet expectations and losses from my lifetime. I was nowhere near grateful but rather heavy with sorrow. 

Have you ever noticed how a brand-new loss tends to trigger the pain of the previous ones? 

Sometimes, when this happens, we see what we lack instead of what we have, what we wanted and didn’t receive—the unfairness of life. We can try to cover it with gratitude, but it’s like a Band-Aid, and it will fall off.  

Finally, I looked up to God and relented. It started with a single word – “Lord.”

That was all it took. My eyes immediately filled to overflowing as the teardrops dropped one by one onto my desk. Then with intensity, my voice cried out, 

“Lord, this life is not what I expected. I’m tired, and quite honestly, I don’t want any more pain. My heart aches for the losses, plans that didn’t come to fruition, and the pain I see all around me. I wanted something different for me and those I love, yet it appears impossible.”

And as I sat there in the arms of God with tears, words, and silence flowing, He comforted me and surrounded me with love.

He will do the same for you. It is okay to take our pain to God.

Let Go with God

It is so important to take off our armor with God, to let it out with the one who truly understands. After all, Jesus walked this earth, and He understands our pain. Plus,  we are human, and this year has been challenging for all of us.

Back to a Grateful Heart

It didn’t take long until I glanced out the window to the majestic scenery before my eyes, and I whispered – “Thank you, Lord.” My feet took me closer to the window, not wanting to miss a thing. My eyes darted up and down the street. The winy blew the beautiful leaves of yellow, orange, and purple down the road. It was as if they were dancing before my eyes. It was a reminder – God is in the details.

We must remember that hardships and blessings can exist simultaneously – one will not cancel the other out. #Embracing30DaysofGratitude #GratitudeWithMareeDee Click To Tweet

Let’s give Jesus our hearts. After all, He understands our unexpected circumstances. And when we include the Lord, we are not alone, and He will comfort us.

Embracing gratitude will not wipe away the pain or frustration; however, life is a little sweeter and easier to endure when we acknowledge both. #Embracing30DaysofGratitude #GratitudeWith MareeDee Click To Tweet

Cultivating A Grateful Heart is Worth It

A grateful heart brings many benefits for anyone regardless of our circumstances. However, gratitude is crucial to persevere well amid the unexpected.

Here Are Ten Reasons to Embrace Gratitude:

  1. Grateful People Are Happier People

  2. Boosts Our Physical Wellbeing

  3. Improves Our Emotional Health

  4. Enhances Our Relationships

  5. Leads to Contentment

  6. Supports Recovery

  7. Helps Us to Embrace the Wait

  8. Hope Soars

  9. Life Becomes Valuable

  10. Deepens Your Bond with God

You can read a detailed explanation of the ten reasons why we need to embrace gratitude in the midst of the unexpected by clicking here.

“There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”

-Ralph H. Blum

How to Cultivate a Grateful Heart

Every day we must make it a habit of focusing on our blessings if we are to cultivate a habit of gratitude. Here are six ways to get you started.

  1. Begin with Jesus

  2. Learn How to Live in the Moment

  3. Choose to Be a “Gratitude Seeker”

  4. Practice Gratitude

  5. Count Your Blessings in the Midst of Your Unexpected

  6. Join Our 30-Day Challenge (Details below)

You can read a complete description: “How to Embrace Gratitude in the Midst of the Unexpected.”

My Prayer for You

Do you struggle to maintain a grateful heart in the midst of the unexpected? If so, you are not alone. Gratitude is hard for most people.

Numbers 6:24-26 NLT

We can maintain a grateful heart in the midst of the unexpected. However, it is a choice one must make. Of course, we will need to embrace the pain and seek gratitude. After all, one will not cancel the other out, and both can be true at precisely the same moment. 

Do you have a secret to maintaining a grateful heart in the midst of the unexpected? Will you join us for 30 days of gratitude in November? 


Embracing 30 Days of Gratitude

Discover how unlocking the power of thankfulness can help draw you closer to God and bring more joy into your life! Our 30-day gratitude workbook includes daily gratitude prompts, scriptures/quotes, and a place to record your thoughts. Available free during November 2023.


We would love to hear your thoughts.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

26 Comments

  1. Lovely post, Maree. It is interesting how each loss brings mourning for all the ones before it. This can make me feel like I didn’t deal with them adequately to begin with, but sometimes I think grief comes in increments here and there. We deal with a little bit at the time, and the length of time doesn’t really matter that much. I love your reminder that grief and joy can coexist and your prayer to just be honest with your feelings.

    1. Ashley, Yes! I, too, thought I must have missed something along the way. It wasn’t until someone else pointed out that a new loss can trigger the feelings of the old ones, too. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Miss seeing you.

      Maree

  2. It is truly profound to consider the reality that gratitude and suffering can exist together! Thank you for digging deep, friend!

    1. Stacey,

      I agree. Now that I know this fact, it seems so obvious, but I remember a time when joy and gratitude seemed impossible in the middle of our hard circumstances. Today, I don’t know what I would do without that truth.
      Maree

  3. Covering our pain separates us from God – He wants us to be honest with how we feel, our hearts and our hurts – and when you uncovered your pain – you were right there with Him! Yes! Find the Blessing! Yes Find the Goodness! But, oh my! The Deceiver wants us separated from God – and covering our pain as though to hide it from Him separates us! What a story you give us to show what happens when we pull that cover off! BTW _ Numbers 6: 24-26 was one of the scriptures my husband prayed before and immediately after waking from his surgeries in 2019 (Aortic Heart Valve Replacement (TAVR), Lung lobe removal due to cancer) – it has a special place in my heart!

    1. Maryleigh, You are so right. The Deceiver does want us to pull away from God. Thank you for sharing about the scripture your husband prayed upon waking up. Wow, what a surgery. Thank you for sharing with me today. Maree

  4. I agree Maree, we need to acknowledge our pain & work through it, otherwise it just festers until it bursts forth when another pin pricking pain lances it. Dressing the wound with the healing salve of God’s love brings forth gratitude. I like your statement that both healing & gratitude may happen at the same time…so true!
    Great post my friend!
    Blessings,
    Jennifer

    1. Jennifer, Your words are soothing. I love the way you worded it,” Dressing the wound with the healing salve of God’s love brings forth gratitude,” Thank you for sharing. Maree

  5. Thank you, Maree Dee. You make so many great points here. I love the thought of taking off our armor with God. I think we can overguard our heart to the point that is supresses God’s presence and work in our lives. And for gratitude to truly be authentic, it doesn’t cover up pain, it’s a grateful heart in spite of the pain.

    1. Absolutely, Karen, it is a grateful heart in spite the pain or frustration. Yes, many times, I find myself with my armor on with God. It is silly because He can see right through it, and it keeps me at a distance from Him.

  6. Such important insights during Covid. I’m so thankful for the encouragement of God’s Word during this time. Thanks for sharing this positive post.

  7. I too believe in the power of gratitude and appreciate the fact that you included the truth – we must acknowledge our pain. Gratitude is not a magic wand! At the same time, it holds great power in bringing us through the darkest of times.

    1. I love the way you said this, “Gratitude is not a magic wand!” I have found embracing both the pain and gratitude helps tremendously. Happy Saturday! May your blessings be many today. Maree

  8. It’s been such a challenging time and , too, have been trying to find something each day to be grateful for. Usually I end up with more than one 🙂 If we intentionally search, we will find God graces and blesses our days with sweet reminders that He is with us.

  9. oh yes! gratitude was part of what the Lord used to draw my heart near to Him once again and He has offered me such grace in it all! I am also planning a social media gratitude challenge in November and look forward to following your gratitudes as well.

    1. Oh, Mariel I can’t wait to see what you are doing. I love gratitude. I am going to head over to your facebook page and make sure I am following you. Maree

    1. Patti, You can absoultly join in on the challenge. You will receive a workbook that you can work though it on your own. Please feel free to jump over here at anytime to leave a a comment or even drop me an email. Maree