Do you need to let go of shame before it dismantles who God intended you to be? My guess is if you are human, most likely, you carry a bit of it around with you too. Today our featured post from Theresa Boedeker gives us the antidote to getting rid of shame.
“The lies of shame want us to think that we are defective, unloveable, worthless.” Theresa Boedeker
How many of you have let an incident where you felt shame keep you from being all God wants you to be? What's the lie behind it? #shame Click To Tweet
A Girl Who Couldn’t Draw
As a little girl, I remember one unforgettable event in particular. It was back to school night for first graders. I was so excited for my family to come so I could show off my work. My teacher had carefully selected each child’s papers to display on the board. Now, I was a smart little girl who was way ahead of many of the students in reading, writing, and math. My teacher and my family were not shy to praise me in these areas. So it was an exciting night ahead.
However, it all took a turn for the worse as we approached the bulletin board with our carefully drawn pictures of our family on display. I was proud of myself and my family. But someone in my family busted out with a few chuckles and comments. They found my stick figures amusing and quite different from the artwork of my peers. Obviously, to all, drawing was not my strong suit. And most likely, I probably left the family figures without clothing.
Somehow I took on shame and believed the lie that God had not made me creative.
I let this lie shape so much of my life. I never wanted my artwork on display again. To this day, the mere mention of playing a game, which includes drawing, causing my heart to beat fast and my palms to sweat. I avoid it at all costs.
This lie led me to try to avoid anything with a creative component to it. And when there was no way out, I would painstakingly try to reach for perfection in fear of being judged.
Oh, maybe it would have been better if my family hadn’t laughed, but honestly, the picture probably was a little funny. Plus, another child might have laughed along. My family gave me plenty of love and praise in all other areas of life.
We are responsible for taking shame on and believing the lie, not anyone else—the power to let It go is in our hands. #shame #letgo #lettinggo Click To Tweet
Who knows, maybe one of these days you will see me at one of those painting parties and I will post my artwork on social media. However, I’m not there yet. In the meantime, I realize God created me to show creative abilities in many other areas of life.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.”
Do You Need to Let Go of Shame?
If so, you will not want to miss our featured post this week from Theresa Boedeker. Through beautiful storytelling, she teaches us how we can let go of the shame we carry around. It has made an impact on me this week, and I hope it will work for you too.
Click here to read our featured post.
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Shame is such an ugly, damaging emotion. And in Christ we have no condemnation. Thanks for featuring this.
Lauren, I agree shame is so damaging. Maree
Maree, your story about the stick figure picture definitely struck home with me. My family loves to make fun of my drawings. I am definitely not an artist and I know that. However, God has blessed me in other creative ways, and for that I am thankful.
Angela, It is good to know I am not alone in my drawing abilities. Yes, God blesses us all in creative ways. After all, He is super creative. Maree
Thank you, Maree and Theresa, for addressing this difficult topic of shame. Negative words said to us as children and words or actions of abuse can affect us throughout our lives. That shame can be so heavy and Satan knows our vulnerable spots. But God…Again and again God helps me to replace the lies with His truth. It’s not always easy, but He is faithful. May the Shame-Breaker help us to remember who He is and who we are in Him! Love and blessings to you both!
Trudy, I love what you said, “May the Shame-Breaker help us to remember who He is and who we are in Him!” Yes, Satan sure goes to town in our vulnerable spots, but we don’t have to let him have the upper hand. Thank you for adding your words. Maree
I have a similar story to your art story. When I was in 3rd grade, I was tapped to play a song on the piano for our county-wide 4H convention. Right before it was my turn to play “Autumn Leaves” in a simple little arrangement, the real pianist for the show played “Autumn Leaves” in a beautiful complicated rendition. I was so humiliated to follow her with my rinky-dink version. I felt shame. But as an adult looking back, I know there was no reason for shame. But as a 3rd grader? Total humiliation. It’s funny now, but it wasn’t then.
I’ve been following Theresa’s series and benefiting from it as well!
Lisa,
Oh my goodness, I would have felt the same way. I am proud you got up there and played. I might have run from the building. You are so right; there was no reason for the shame. Thank you for sharing your story. Maree
It never ceases to amaze me how an event in childhood can impact much of our adulthood. I’m so glad we have a living God who can change that around!
Bless you Maree,
Jennifer
Jennifer,
I am right there with you. God can change it all. Thankfully. Maree
Not only do we have fragile self-images, we have an enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy us with his lies. Oh how we need to listen to Jesus.
Debbie,
Yes, I agree Jesus is the voice we need to pay attention to.
Blessings,
Maree
Shame is a real thing that I’m just now diving into. Thank you so much for sharing here, Maree. I’m looking forward to reading Theresa’s article. Thank you for hosting the link-up as well!
Leslie,
It is a great topic to dive into. Thank you for stopping by and participating in the link-up. It is great to have you in this space.
Maree
Love the reminder that we are responsible for taking shame on and believing lies!
Amy,
It is super easy to become a victim. I am sure I have done my share of it in my lifetime.
Maree
Oh Maree. I think so many of us can identify, We think we are good in an area, and then someone older or better at it (maybe even worse at it) bursts our bubble and we try and avoid that pursuit for years. Intellectually we know that if we are to become good at something we must practice hours and hours, and yet we stop altogether because of the shame lie we are not creative (or whatever). Like Barbara says above, as reflections of God, we all have creative talents, but they may not be artistic. Good for you for beginning to dismantle that lie of shame. One lie I am discovered I am struggling with is thinking I don’t deserve very much. I was raised not to expect much. Or ask for things. And yet I serve a God who owns everything. Who wants us to rely on him and ask him for things. Blessings to you Maree.
Theresa,
Yes, I have replaced the lie with the truth. God did make us all creative. It has taken years, and it still rears its ugly head in more ways than I care to admit.
Thank you for sharing the lie you have believed about not thinking you deserve very much. I love what you said about our God, “And yet I serve a God who owns everything. Who wants us to rely on him and ask him for things.
Thank you for the series!
Maree
My drawing isn’t much better than stick figures even now. Our family plays a couple of drawing games where, thankfully, stick figures are sufficient. I used to think people were either creative or not, and I used to think I wasn’t creative because I wasn’t artsy. But somewhere I got hold of the truth that we’re all creative in some way because we’re made in the image of the Creator. And I saw different types of creativity with friends–one with flower arranging, one with how she decorated her home, one with simple lunch ideas, one with church bulletin boards, one with how she played with her children.
I grew up with a very angry alcoholic father who would lash others with words. On one level I knew his outbursts were his own problem and not mine, but I still had trouble with self-esteem for years. Getting hold of the truth that I was “accepted in the beloved” (Ephesians 1:6) transformed my thinking. It’s so vital that we identify the lies we’ve internalized and replace them with truth.
Barbara,
Glad to know we draw alike. I, too, probably still could only muster up a stick figure at this point.
Thank you for taking the time to share about your father. It helps to hear how other people have overcome the lies we once believed. I am so glad you changed your thinking and know you are “accepted in the beloved.”
Maree