Do you load your schedule so tight you barely have time to breathe? Are you always rushing around feeling like you don’t have enough time to get your to-do list done? I am guilty and probably will forever struggle to some degree. However, a few years back, a painful experience taught me a vital lesson in why we need to stop being in a hurry and take the time to pause for relationships.
Why a Pause Is Important
Today I find myself aching to rewind and linger in the past. It was a Saturday morning, and I remember waking up filled with enthusiasm to head out of town for my son’s college graduation. Rushing out the door, I jumped in my car and sped away to the beauty shop. After all, one has to look suitable for the big event. My priorities seemed in line, but the timing was awful. Who gets their hair done on the day you have a ten-hour drive ahead of you?
I arrived home, and we were bustling around to get out of the house and start our drive. All of a sudden I hear my sweet, energetic neighbor come bursting in for a visit. The timing couldn’t have been worse.
Now keep in mind, this young man is someone whom I love like a son; my children consider him a brother, and I call his family my family. So this means I could have easily put him off for later.
But for some reason on this particular day, I heard God whisper in my ear.
“Pause for a moment. Stop being in a hurry.”
Now I don’t always listen to God’s voice. Sometimes I pretend I don’t hear him. Especially when he asks me to stop being in a hurry, I usually ignore it.
However on this particular day, in the thick of busy, in the midst of packing up the car, and in the middle of one more thing to do, I sat down on the couch with Kamran.
Together, we looked at pictures on his phone. I listened to his excitement over someone he had just met. We even laughed at some motherly advice I was trying to dispel as he insisted he would ignore it.
I hugged him and told him I loved him. I am so thankful because I would give anything to go back and linger in the day, to add five minutes, ten minutes, or any amount of time to that interaction.
Little did I know these would be our last precious moments together. The very next day Kamran went home to dwell in heaven.
Oh, how my heart aches for the loss of my sweet neighbor boy but I’m so thankful I listened to God’s prompting to sit and be still. Never in a million years, did I consider how much I would value my few minutes of pausing.
Today I want to pause, capture and remember on paper the essence of how Kamran’s life impacted me. He was a twenty-two-year-old kid, who embraced life at a hundred miles per hour, and yet he knew how to pause and be with people.
Kam taught me to stop. He had no problem pointing out to me when I was too busy for him. He would look up at with me with his beautiful big brown eyes and say,
“Hey Mrs. Dee, (later Mom) what’s up? Don’t you have time for me? What do you mean you’re too busy? Aren’t I important?”
In a way, he demanded I give our relationship what it needed. His life left a mark on me. I want to slow down my hurry and embrace people and relationships. To remember tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Tomorrow Is Not Promised
Pause for Relationships
The people in our lives are more important than getting something done. We will always have our to-do list, and yet tomorrow we might not have those who are dear to us.
Embrace Strangers
All people have value.
Remember to Say, “I Love You”
Never miss an opportunity to express your love.
Cherish Your Village
We all need a village, and it should include people of all ages who can speak into our lives. Kamran and I laughed, cried, talked about God, and even argued together.
Listen for God’s Prompting to Pause
He will show us when, but we must tune our ear for His voice.
I don’t always pause when I should, but I am so thankful I did on that beautiful April day. Kam would have halted for me.
Oh, how I miss the days when he would barge into my home as if he owned the place. I find myself listening for the sound of his footsteps. Sometimes I imagine I hear him rustling through the pantry. But then I remember he is no longer here. I will be forever grateful and remember him as one of my second sons.
Embrace the Unexpected Pause
That was a year of loss and people who taught me the importance of a pause. My dear friend’s husband and our good friend John left us for heaven too. John knew how to pause for people, and he always made time for us. He never missed an opportunity to ask about every one of us in our family. Two months before he passed away, God created an unexpected pause where both my husband and I got to sit and spend time with John. God is good.
When you hear the little voice inside, say “Pause.” don’t overthink it, do it. #pause #bestill Click To Tweet
God knows more than us, and sometimes the pause may be our last few minutes with a particular person here on earth.
Will you join me in striving to embrace life and stop the hurry? To love those around us, those we know, and the ones we have yet to meet. Together, let’s learn to listen for God’s whisper prompting us to pause.
Click here to find more on the topic of Grief and Loss.
Maree, I just had a similar experience in my family of an unexpected passing, but sadly, I didn’t listen to God’s prompting to give my aunt a call as it had been a long while since I had talked with her. I kept thinking, “I need to call.” but I just hadn’t gotten around to it. And then she passed away unexpectedly. It really hurt my heart that I didn’t take the little time it would have taken to call her and I’ve learned a very important lesson from this. I love it that you were able to take that time with this young man. What a blessing! Thank you for sharing this today!
Leslie,
I am so sorry you didn’t get a chance to talk to your Aunt. I imagine that does hurt.
I had a similar experience back in the ancient days when we didn’t have cell phones.I felt the prompting to stop and call my Grandma or stop by and see her. But of course, at that time I would have had to stop and use a pay phone, and it seemed like too much trouble. I waited until I got home an hour away and called my Mom. My Grandma had just passed away. I would have made it to say goodbye had I only have listened to God’s prompting.
I don’t know anyone that always listens to God’s prompting. But the good news is we can learn from it and try to do better the next time.
Blessings, Maree
Wow, Maree, your post hits close to home for me. We have an almost 22 yr. old living with us and is like a son. The relationship I have with him is a lot like what you describe that you had with Kam. We have 3 adult sons besides this friend, and we all accept him as part of the family. We never know when God will call someone home, do we? Thank you so much for the reminder to pause in our busy lives and make time for the people God brings our way and esp. for those we are closest to. Blessings to you and thank you for joining with us at the #LMMLinkup!
Gayl, So true we never do know how much time we have with people. How wonderful to have a young man living with you and to be so close. I miss the people in and out of my home as my children are all adults now. Thank you for hosting LMML Linkup. I look forward to it each week. Missed you this week. Maree
What a powerful reminder of the importance of taking time for the people God puts in our paths, whether people we know or strangers. A few years ago, I had a similar experience. This young lady was a bit high maintenance and at times I dreaded her visits, but I did take the time even though my heart wasn’t always 100% in. Then one day just as suddenly she was gone. You have brought thoughts of her back to me and a reminder there are others who need our time and attention, too.
Donna, What I find too are the ones we think we are helping are truly doing a work in us. Thank you for spending time with the young lady even though you were not always 100% in. There are so many people in our world that are hurting or difficult that need our love. You have reminded me to slow down and pay attention. Blessings, Maree
Wow, What a beautiful reminder to slow down, listen and love the moments!
Thank you for stopping by and your kind words. Enjoy your “Easter Moments.”
I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. Kamran sounds like he was a sweet boy, and I love how you embraced him as your own. He was blessed to have you as a neighbor. And, so sorry for the loss of John as well. ((Hug)) Love God’s admonishment for you to “Stop your hurry.” I never think about hurry as a noun. But, it sure is a lot of times, isn’t it? Thanks for this reminder to not let the hurry get in the way of the relationships. xoxo
Brenda, He was a sweet boy. Love and miss both John and Kam. I find God teaches me through it all. Happy Easter! Maree
Straight. to. the. heart.
Oh, Maree, thank you for the powerful reminder. As you know by some of our communication, I’m way too often in a hurry. 🙁 But tonight this is resonating. ♥
Hugs to you and a Happy and Blessed Easter!
Lori
Lori, You are not alone. It is one of my biggest assets (energetic, get lots done) and one of my most significant liabilities because I don’t slow down enough to be in the present moment. However, I am learning. I glad my post resonated with you. Happy Easter to you too! Maree
Oh, yes. Such wise words here. We so need to pause and often. Otherwise we are not really living just rushing through life. Thanks so much, Maree. Blessings to you!
Maree, thank you for this post. Such an important reminder for us all – to live present in this moment. To love well. To pause. To obey the nudges of our God. It is the only way we will live with no regrets.
May you and your family have a blessed Easter!
Joanne – Thank you for your kind encouraging comment. Wishing you a wonderful Easter week. Blessings, Maree
It is very import to learn to discern the Holy Spirit and don’t be surprised at the promptings to pray for others, and even who to avoid. So sorry for your losses.
Thank you! Maree
Oh wow, Maree Dee! What a powerful post and reminder that time is short and we must make the most of every opportunity. I’ve been studying Ephesians, in particular, 5:16, so this fits seamlessly with where my mind has been and the truths God has been challenging me with. I’ve pinned and will tweet as well!
Thank you for sharing my post. I loved the verse you left. Yes, we must make the most of our opportunities. Blessings, Maree
I want to be better at pausing too! Thanks for sharing this, Maree. I know you published it a few days ago, but it’s just what I needed to read this morning. God is good like that!
Lisa, I am so glad it was what you needed today. God is good. Blessings, Maree
Thank you for praying, Maree. She is still deeply sedated and breathing by machine, but heart function has improved a bit. And the baby is good and should be released soon. That’s all I know right now. They won’t have any real idea about recovery until she is awake. So we are just waiting now. Please keep the prayers coming. Thank you.
You got it. I am praying. I will add her to our prayer list on Wednesday when I attend my small group. Thank you for sharing.
Oh my heart, how I understand these words. Thank you for a beautiful reminder to slow down. ❤
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your sweet comment. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Maree
And i posted this request on my blog https://lovehealme.blogspot.com. I will leave an update there when I know more. Thank you.
Thank you! I will be checking.
Visiting from Faith and Friends link up. I am one who is always in a rush with an overloaded to-do list. I have a hard time with interruptions, just waiting to get on with the plan at hand. This post really spoke to me. The people the Lord has placed in our lives are what is really important, and as you well know we can lose those we love so unexpectantly. I will be looking at interruptions a little differently. Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry for your loss, what a precious heart Kamran had as he reached for love and presence. Now he is forever enjoying that with the Lord, praise God for His grace! And I thank Him for the grace He shows us through lessons like this one. May He comfort your heart as He holds you in His love.
Cheryl, You are not alone. I too overload my to-do list, but I am learning it doesn’t all have to be done and pausing for people is a priority. Thank you, Kam and John were both great losses.It does bring me comfort to know they are with the Lord. Maree
Hi Maree, you don’t know me but i visit your blog and have a link to it on mine. My “comment” here is actually a prayer request that I am posting on a few godly blogs. I am asking faithful believers to please say a prayer for my sister-in-law, Jessica, and my brother, Brad. She had preeclampsia (among other things, like diabetes, etc.), and they had to deliver her baby early (Monday) because of skyrocketing blood pressure. Baby is fine, but Jessica is in medically-induced coma (since Tuesday) to keep her stable. Too much damage was done to her heart. And she has double pneumonia and is on oxygen. If she makes it, it will be long recovery. She’s only 29. And they have two other very young kids. My brother visits the baby in one part of the hospital and his wife in another. Anyway, since I know of your faithfulness and that of your readers, I am asking you all for prayer. God is truly their biggest/only hope here. Neither of them are believers. Thank you, and I will give update when I can. – Heather
Heather, Absolutely, I would be honored to pray for your brother, Brad, his wife Jessica, and everyone else in the family including you as you come alongside and support them. I hope many others read this post and pray too. I am pausing right now as I write this to pray. Thank you for leaving the comment here and reaching out for prayer. I hope you will keep us posted either here or by email at maree.dee@embracingtheunexpected.com Blessings, Maree
Maree,
This is beautiful, beautifully written, and powerful. Kamran would love that you shared it, just as a he loved you like “another mother.” Thank you for who you are!!!!
love you,
Debbie
Debbie, Thank you for sharing your precious son with me. I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. Love you, Maree
Oh, this is so sad! I am SO sorry for your loss of Kam and John. Such a young age to leave this world…I know you must miss Kam bursting into your house. Do you mind sharing what happened to him? SO thankful you took the time to spend with him that day and really engage with what was going on in his life. We, too, have learned, through deeply painful circumstances that we should always take time for what is most important. One of our main reasons for so drastically minimizing our lives is for this very reason. Just because we live in such a hurried, chaotic, frantic world, does not mean that we have to buy into it. It takes a very intentional, concentrated effort, but at the end of the day, no one can change our lives for us. It is up to us to “redeem the time” and be good stewards over the moments God gives us to live. Such a good post. Thank you for sharing.
Cheryl, Thank you for your thoughtful comment. You have encouraged me to continue my pursuit to take time for others and not join the chaotic world. It is a constant struggle. I don’t mind at all sharing what happened to Kamran. In fact, his momma wrote a sweet post a few weeks again that tells her story. Here is the link: https://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/your-worst-nightmare/
Maree
Maree this is beautiful. I am sorry for your loss as well. We too have people in our lives that have taught us to let our guard down a bit and be more welcoming instead of so in a bubble. They were the first ones to welcome us into their home when we needed a place to stay before. God has used them greatly in our lives. My own husband has taught me things about this too. Thank you for the reminder today!
Meg, Don’t you just love it when God sends us people on earth to show us what is important. I am so glad you had a family that welcomed you at a time you needed them. Blessings, Maree
Wow I am so sorry for your loss! Your words are beautifully put and your point so very well made..Thank you for this reminder!
Thank you for your kind words and taking time to leave an encouraging comment. Maree
Thank you for the important reminder. I find myself wanting to be selfish at times when my daughter says “can you go here with me” when I know I had something else in mind to do. But it all works out and I am glad that I took the time. You don’t always know what time you will have with them. So savor them all.
Janet, I agree we need to savor our time. Thank you for stopping by. Maree
What a beautiful story and tribute to Kam. Hurry, hurry, hurry. It doesn’t really get us farther ahead. Thanks for your words urging us to pause. Oh how much better my day goes when I do work in pauses to focus on people. To spend time in the moment.
Theresa, You are so right the hurry doesn’t get us ahead. Thank you for your sweet comment. Maree