Do you ever pray for God to close a door He doesn’t want you to go through? Then He shuts that opening, and you find yourself in utter shock and despair. It leaves you at a crossroads, usually in the middle of a waiting period. Quite possibly, you feel helpless and out of options. However, we have two choices that help in the wait when God closes a door. Will you choose what benefits or hurts you?
When You Are Left to Wait
In the middle of our family’s journey with mental illness, we were in a desperate search for a facility where a loved one could receive proper care. My husband and I traveled the nation searching for the ideal place, putting in applications everywhere that looked promising and had an available bed. We visited locations that were dark, gloomy, and downright scary; I wouldn’t dare set foot in them again. And then there were a few facilities full of hope.
We didn’t work alone; teams of people tried to locate a perfect placement. We tirelessly worked until there came a sudden halt where we had exhausted all possibilities, and we were left to wait for a response.
My continued prayers were, “please, God, open the door you desire us to walk through and close the ones you want us to avoid.
Do you ever pray for God to open the door He wants you to walk through and close the ones He wants you to avoid? #God #WhenGodClosestheDoor Click To TweetWaiting is Hard
We waited for our phones to ring with good news, but over and over again, the answer came back “No, we can’t accept your loved one into our program.”
It felt like slow torture that elicited emotions of desperation and fear. After all, I am a mom who only wanted what was best for her hurting child. Yet, with each call, I inched closer to failure. How quickly I had forgotten my plea to God to close the doors that were not for us.
A Glimmer of Hope
But then I found the perfect placement. It looked nice online, a two-hour flight from home and a short drive from a familiar airport. I was sure God would work out the details, so I hopped on a plane, booked a hotel, and planned to make it to the facility by sundown.
I prayed the entire flight to God, “Please let this be where you want our healing to happen. However, slam the door closed if it is not the right place.”
To my dismay, my carefully planned design was not part of God’s plan. He closed the door tight while my heart shattered into a million pieces, and fear consumed me. Now what?
When God Closes a Door, We Don’t Always Respond Well
Sometimes, when God closes a door, we allow our feelings and fear to take over our thoughts. We lash out in anger or make decisions from an emotional state. It isn’t unusual to rush ahead at times without waiting to listen for God’s voice. We often attempt to pry open or ignore the closed door as if God hasn’t shut it.
Has God ever closed a door in your life, and you tried to pry it open? What happened?
We often attempt to pry open or ignore the closed door as if God hasn't shut it. #WhenGodClosesaDoor #waiting #wait Click To TweetWhen God Slammed the Door Shut
God slammed that door so tight on this particular day. This facility wouldn’t seem to budge. But believe it or not, I didn’t stop there. I had grown weary in the wait, and somehow I allowed the fear in me to take control. My blinders were on, and I refused to see that God had our best interest in mind.
Have you ever asked God to close a door and then declined to acknowledge He knows what is best?
No was unacceptable to me! Indeed, God must have missed something along the way. Surely He didn’t see all the advantages of this placement. I was determined to show God and the people on the other end of the phone why “no” was not the proper response.
I dug my heels in and refused to listen to God’s answer. With all my energy, I tried to pry the door open. I lifted the phone and did what any desperate mom might do—I begged, pleaded, and insisted the director reconsider. She finally offered a second review of our chart by the board.
However, she firmly stated, “Do not drive to our campus; wait for a call from the center.” After all, she was slightly annoyed that I had flown into town with the idea of visiting by sundown. Finally, a flicker of hope, or so I thought.
The Choice to Ignore God’s Answer
Many times my persistence has paid off when working within God’s will. But remember, I had asked God to close the door if it wasn’t the one we were to walk through. Now, I was ignoring His answer, even worse, trying to prove I knew more than Him.
Growing Weary in the Wait
So, I sat by my phone in that lonely hotel room, willing my phone to ring with an answer of “Yes, we have accepted your loved one into our center.”
Tired of waiting, I slowly and carefully dialed the numbers on my phone to call the director once again. She answered, I’m sure a bit irritated it was me again. However, in a calm and caring voice, I ever so sweetly said, “Hi Mrs. Cavenaugh, it is Maree. I know you are still reviewing my child’s chart. However, I want to tour the treatment center and can be there in thirty minutes.”
I figured—once the board saw a kind, loving parent desperately asking for help, they would accept our family.
There was a moment of silence on the other end, and the director sternly said, “Maree, do not come to visit; the answer is no. We can not accommodate the needs of your loved one, and our doors are closed, and we will not change our minds.
I held back the sobs long enough to say goodbye, and then I unleashed on God wailing in that lonely hotel room.
When Life is Unfair
My exasperation hit an all-time low as I cried to God, “Why Jesus, has it been such a steep road? Don’t we deserve a break? We are good people and are suffering so. Why do we have to keep waiting? We need help.”
I believed this placement was the last feasible hope. We were still waiting for a few more answers, but none seemed adequate.
Have you ever waited for hours on end for a call? It is torture of its own kind.
Admittedly, I didn’t wait well on that particular day. My phone flew across the room a few times as other “No’s” came in. My fear and sadness were valid, but they ruled my thoughts and controlled my mind.
I knew God would take care of us deep in my soul, but I couldn’t wrap my emotions around the truth. Not until I made two choices that changed everything.
Two Choices that Help in the Wait
1. Choose to Trust God in the wait
We trust Him one hundred percent even when the outcome isn’t what we want or expect. If we struggle to have faith in the Lord, we rely on what we know about God, not what we feel in the moment.
God is good, all-knowing, and all-powerful; he loves us more than anyone ever could. Think about His character—kind, loving, just, compassionate, gracious, and merciful, to mention a few. Not convinced, then take the time to remember what He has done in the past for you and others.
2. Express Your Gratitude to God
Take the time to thank God. Recall what He has done in the past. A shift in our thinking towards gratitude will help in the wait.
When God closes a door, it leaves us at a crossroads with choices. We can attempt to pry the door open and ignore God; sometimes, it changes short-term outcomes. But it will leave us without peace and out of God’s will.
The two choices that help the most in the wait when God closes a door are to trust Jesus and thank Him for all He has done. #wait #GodClosesaDoor #choices Click To TweetWe Won’t Always Wait Well
We won’t always wait well, and when we don’t, we miss out on God’s peace that transcends all understanding. Thank goodness, God is bigger than our attitude or disbelief. He forgives us when we pray for answers, and then we ignore His response.
Rest assured, God is still working even when we don't wait well. #waitingwell #wait Click To TweetNo, I didn’t start the wait well that horrible day. Nor was it smooth sailing after I put my faith in God. Over and over again, I had to go back and choose to trust God, relying on what I knew about Him, not what I could see. Then I would choose gratitude for all He was doing. After all, He was always right by my side. I was never alone. These two choices always help me remain confident that I will see the goodness of the Lord.
Wait for the Lord
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
In our waiting, God is working. Click To Tweet
We all wait for something at some point in our lives. Perhaps, you are waiting for a prodigal child to return, an illness to subside, a doctor to call back, or a relationship to restore. I pray that whatever door has closed or unexpected delay has occurred, you will trust the Lord even if it makes no sense.
What choice do you default to when God closes a door? Is it hard for you to choose trust and gratitude in your wait?
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This post was originally published under “What Happens When You Ask God to Close a Door” on July 10, 2018. This article was updated, and the name changed to “Two Choices That Help in the Wait When God Closes a Door.”
Even though my situation is different, I can relate 100% to what this is like in my own struggle with chronic illness. Hope deferred truly makes the heart sick, and that’s only half the battle. Thank you for encouraging me to wait well on God and CHOOSE gratitude and faith in spite of what my feelings or circumstances say so often. Hang in there!
Olivia,
Thank you for sharing. I can only imagine how hard chronic illness is to endure. I bet the wait is long. I’m so sorry this is your burden to carry. I am praying for you as you cling to God. Maree
May God help us wait well. Thanks for sharing. Many blessings!
Amen! Thank you for stopping by and reading. Blessings, Maree
I love this. “Trust God in the waiting” really resonated with me. I’m in a season of waiting…learning to “wait well”.
Thank you for your comment. I am praying for you in your season of waiting. I would love to know any tips you use to “wait well.” Blessings, Maree
Maree, It’s so incredibly hard for me to understand why finding good care for a loved one suffering from mental illness is so very difficult. It’s one of the top reasons that mental health issues are such a huge burden for families.My heart broke for you as I read this! Your words about waiting on God ring very true because of the heartbreak involved. Blessings on you and your family, friend!
Patti,
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it is a fight to get good care. Blessings to you, Maree
Sometimes I think we have to fall apart and in the falling apart totally surrender to God – admitting how we feel and how unable to solve the challenge – because then we might think we had something to do with the answer to the prayer. I felt your pain and frustration. I’ve not had to make that difficult choice, but I have fought to save those I love. I’m in the wait of a prayer sent out – and am learning how to live joy in the wait, to speak faith in the wait – to be hands off and hands up. Some days, it is a constant battle! Thank you for this powerful share!
Beautiful words! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I am praying for you in your wait. I am raising my hands alongside you. Maree
God is working in the waiting and in the waiting God is working. Yes he is even though it doesn’t always feel like he is. Strangely enough, I often thank God for closed doors and I often ask him to close every door he does not want me to walk through. Great post.
Yvonne, It is nice to know I am not alone in my prayers. Amen, to God working in the waiting. Blessings, Maree
Oh Maree, it is difficult when waiting on God’s answer to such a significant & desperate prayer.
I remember when my late husband was diagnosed with brain cancer & after surgery I was told by the Neurosurgeon he only had 6-12 months to live at best.
At the 10 week mark after his surgery his condition declined so much he had to be hospitalized again.
I knew deep down God was taking him home to be with Him.
But I felt it was so unfair as we had only been married just on two & half years.
In the last two weeks of his life watching his slow decline was excruciating & I didn’t react so well either…when I went home one night to our farm.
I went out into the paddock & screamed & cried at God for my lovely gentle husband to be healed miraculously.
But he passed away a few days later with me at his bedside.
I only had him with me for 12 weeks after diagnosis.
But when I look back at that time, God did ultimately heal him by taking him home to heaven where he’s whole now.
And God had another chapter planned for me.
Bless you,
Jennifer
Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing your heartbreaking story. That had to be so difficult watching your husband suffer and die. No doubt, he was blessed to have you by his side. I love the way you ended knowing that God did heal him in heaven.
This post is so good! I love the perspective that when doors are closing that means that it is God saying, “Don’t go that way.” Still, it is hard to wait and yes, I have found these very two things to be most helpful when I find myself waiting, as I am now.
I am glad that you are implying here that God isn’t the only One who closes doors. We need that discernment because sometimes the enemy does. Thankfully when that happens, God works all things together to the good of those who love Him.
Robyn, Thank you for your kind words. Yes, God is more powerful and works out everything in His timing. Praying for you in your wait. Blessings, Maree
This is a profound statement, “When God closes a door, it leaves us at a crossroads with choices.” I’m so thankful that He gives grace, strength and a ‘peace that passes all understanding’ in the midst of waiting. Thank you for sharing your journey, Maree, it’s heart-wrenching, yet a testimony of His lovingkindness towards you and your precious family.
Lisa,
Thank you for sharing what you liked in my post. I, too, am so thankful for all God gives us. I hope you have an amazing weekend. Blessings, Maree
I love that graphic about God working in our waiting. It doesn’t often feel like that–it can feel like we’re “stuck.” I’m so thankful for the many assurances in Scripture that God is always watching over us and working on our behalf. So many times that has played out in my life–when I didn’t see that anything was going on, eventually I saw the results of God’s working.
Barbara,
I agree it often doesn’t feel as if God is working. But then again feelings are not facts. I love it when we can look back and see His goodness was always there and He was working. Thank you for sharing today. I hope you have a bessed weekend. Maree
Maree, this is sure a good lesson on waiting and trusting in God’s love and faithfulness. Sometimes we are so sure we know what is best, but he is so patient with us and reveals his plan in his time. Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #InspireMeMonday.
Gayl – Glad we were neighbors. I also left this post on your link-up so you will see it twice. We are so blessed God has plenty of patience and grace for each of us. Blessings, Maree
The Wait. Yes, I’m familiar with it as well. 25 years familiar. I can relate to your post and the comments made. Finally, I wait while I serve, while I praise Him, while I grow, while I hope. Romans 5:3-5. He has a plan for us. Prayers to lean into His perfect plan and wait productively and with grace.
Blessings to you, strength to you.
Mia – Praying for you in your wait. Amen – God does have a plan for us. Thank you for stopping by and taking time to share. Blessings, Maree
“We won’t always wait well, and when we don’t, we will miss out on God’s peace that transcends all understanding. Thank goodness God is bigger than our attitude or disbelief. He forgives us when we pray for answers and then ignore the answers he gives. God is still working even when we get in the way.”
I’ve been waiting a long, long time for a number of things. Over the past ten years, my Loving Father in Heaven has been teaching me to listen and obey. I think my lack of listening and obeying has caused the waiting to take longer and yet He is faithful.
Right now we have been waiting for 3.5 years for my husband to get back to profitable work. He is working from home – 6 years into a Parkinson’s diagnosis received at age 51. We want healing first. However, we’re asking the Lord to teach us how to live in this new normal if this is what it is for us. We’re asking for my husband’s longing to work, be productive and profitable to be fulfilled by God’s design. His will and His way.
Waiting still….Psalm 27 is a favorite, but Psalm 37:1-7 has been my anchor for a long, long time.
Thank you, and bless you and your family with solutions, peace and even JOY in your most difficult challenges. Praying for you and your loved ones today in the Mighty and Loving name of Jesus Christ…
~Lisa
Lisa – I am right there with you. While waiting, I tend to jump in and start to fix things. Haha – I can’t fix anything. I do think my lack of patience & listening sometimes causes the wait to be a bit longer.
I am praying, as I send this, for you and your husband. It is hard waiting especially for healing.
I too have had to learn to live a “New Normal,” and I have to say I sure like me better. However, I wish there had been another way so my loved ones wouldn’t have had to suffer.
Blessings and Prayers,
Maree
Grinning, because I used the same image on my post today to talk about opening the door, while you are talking about closing a door. Aside from the excellent teaching in your post, this is a lesson for me in the truth that God works in different ways at different times in the lives of different people. This leaves so much room for grace.
I love it that we both picked the same picture. I can’t wait to hop over and read your post. Your words in your comment have spoken volumes to me today. Even though I wrote the article, I am in constant need to be reminded God works in different ways at different times. We must wait patiently for the Lord to work.
Maree, your words resonated with me. There’s one door in my life that has been shut so tight that I don’t think I’ll ever understand God’s reasoning behind that ‘no’. That was when my brother was lost at sea just less than 2 years ago and I kept pleading with God for good news. There are still so many unanswered questions but then and now I know that God’s answer is always best — even when I beg for the door to open, God knows why it’s best to keep that one shut. I am trusting and at peace, most days. 🙂
I pray that you too might come to terms with the ‘no’ and imagine the rejoicing if the answer changes one day to a ‘YES!’
We will keep rejoicing in the meantime. <3
Blessings,
Marva | SunSparkleShine
Marva – Wow, I am so sorry about your brother. I imagine the pain is enormous especially with unanswered questions. I am glad you are leaning into God and trusting him on most days. We are human though and If you are anything like me we tend to pick up what we let go every once in awhile. However, God is so good we can give it right back.
My story dates back, and God did reveal to me why he closed that door. His plan was best, and a closed door was probably exactly what I needed. Most likely, I would never have chosen the right place if the door had not closed.
Oh, I still am in waiting about many things and most days I too rest in knowing his plan is right. It is just when I run ahead of him and look back for his okay that I get myself into trouble.
I am so glad you stopped by,
Blessings,
Maree
I finally got it through my head that wait doesn’t mean just to wait, i did that for years. I can go on “serving” Him as He times out the right doors to open and close, move the right people in and out of my life. I hear about putting demands on God, and you can, like Mary asking Him to perform the miracle at Cana before it was time to start ministry, He really has a passion Word women, but it doesn’t mean demanding just a a bold daughter of the King, who knows who she is in Him, His promises and her place at His feet in worship.
I agree to wait doesn’t mean sitting on our hands. One time I stepped into a leading a small group in the middle of a mess and lots of waiting. It was the best move I ever made.
I love the song “I will serve him while I wait.” It became my anthem at one point in my life.
I am so glad you stopped by to visit and leave a comment.
HOpe you have a wonderful weekend,
Blessings, Maree
Oh Maree, yep, I have tried to pry open doors, kick them down and even bang on them repeatedly to no avail. Waiting is so hard at times and yet it is in the waiting that God forms us and shapes us to be more like Him, isn’t it. We are neighbors today at Meg’s #TeaAndWord
Debbie – Yes, I love what you said, “In the waiting, God forms us and shapes us to be more like Him.” It is so true! We grow and change so much in the waiting. Thank you for stopping by and adding to our conversation about waiting. Glad we are neighbors at Meg’s. Blessings, Maree