So maybe the perfectionist in your life is “YOU” or someone you love. I bet you have formed some inaccurate perceptions about them. Maybe you have even gone so far as to rid yourself of their friendship. So in today’s post let’s start dispelling the many myths that surround the struggle with perfectionism.
Possibly after reading last weeks, “10 Clues You’re Striving For Perfection, Not Excellence” you have convinced yourself the criteria has been met, and you want to change. Or maybe you just want to point the finger at the person in your life that struggles in this area. Hold on for a second before we start beating up all perfectionists. Having an understanding will be essential to making the changes we need to overcome it. It is imperative we gain a good understanding of what a perfectionist is and what they are not.
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
Struggles with perfectionism are unique to each person. Just like ice cream perfectionist comes in all sizes and flavors. It will look different from one person to the next. Some people will strive in all areas to be perfect, and others only in a few places will it be important for them to try to reach this unrealistic goal.
10 MYTHS ABOUT THE PERFECTIONISTS
1. Perfectionists Will Try To Control Everyone
They may try to control their own lives, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to control yours. Remember they feel out of control and are afraid to be themselves. It can be very refreshing to hand over the reins and let others take control.
2. Perfectionists Believe They Are Superior or Perfect
Inside, a perfectionist is not feeling superior at all. Remember a perfectionist is constantly comparing themselves to others and feeling like they come up short. In their eyes, they can never attain perfection.
“Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect; it makes you feel inadequate.” — Maria Shriver
3. All Perfectionists Are Neat and Tidy
Neat and Tidy is not a prerequisite to being a perfectionist. Of course, you will find many that do have to have everything in its place, but many do not. Just because you do not keep your home in perfect order does not mean you don’t have struggles with perfectionism.
4. All Perfectionists Have Critical Spirits
It is true that perfectionists are critical of themselves. However, it doesn’t mean they see others in the same light.
5. Once a Perfectionist always a Perfectionist:
This could not be further from the truth. Change is possible, but it will need to be a choice.
6. Perfectionists Are Extremely Confident
Oh, they may appear confident but most likely inside they are feeling quite the opposite.
7. Accomplishments Come Easy
Most likely they have put in a tremendous amount of hours poring over every detail. They have checked and rechecked. It wasn’t easy, and it was time-consuming, and they have sweated and stressed over the smallest of details.
8. Perfectionists Hold Others To A High Standard
While it is true they do hold themselves to a standard, which can’t be attained, they usually will not hold others to that same standard. I know my motto is if you are in charge do it your way and it will be perfect.
9. Perfectionists Are Strong
A perfectionist will appear strong on the outside, but inside they are struggling with insecurities and fear.
Perfectionism makes a person weak.
10. A Perfectionist Must Give Up Who They Are To Overcome it
This statement couldn’t be further from the truth. Perfectionists have some amazing qualities that will serve them well in life. Traits like the inner motivation to keep on a task, their attention to detail, a strong work ethic and much more. One doesn’t t have to lose the characteristics that make you who you are.
Remember – a person striving for perfection is doing so because they do not feel perfect on the inside. All of their striving for perfection leaves them filled with an anxiety and little time for the things in life, which do bring them joy.
Hopefully, we have dispelled the many myths of what a perfectionist looks like, and in the next post we can get down to overcoming perfectionism.
Blog Series on Perfectionism:
- “Are You Exhausted Trying to Reach For Perfection?”
- “10 Clues You’re Striving For Perfection, Not Excellence”
- “Dispelling The Myths About Perfectionists”
- “How To Stop Striving For Perfection”
- “Will You Expose Your Imperfections?”
- Monthly Favorites
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